Freelance Fingerprints

2006-12-14T03:56:00.000-08:00

Who Am I Being ?
by: William Frank Diedrich

Who am I being right now? Who was I being in that situation? These are questions I ask myself every day? I want to know. If I am interacting and the interaction feels uncomfortable--who am I being that this feels so bad? Over the years I have created many images of myself which I find myself defending, attacking, or portraying to others. In my book, The Road Home, I call these false views of self. The Arbinger Institute, authors of Leadership and Self Deception (a must read book), call these self justifying images.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where the other person became very impatient with me. I, then, became impatient with her impatience. I called attention to her impatience and made it clear I didn't like it. The next day I asked myself: "Who was I being that the person talking to me became very impatient?" The answer came: "I'm the kind of person who deserves to be treated with respect". This person wasn't giving me what I deserved, so obviously she was out of line.

This is the kind of thinking that gets us into more conflict. A Course in Miracles says there are only two kinds of thinking--love and fear. In love, I am caring and responsive toward myself and others. I am able to see the good in the other person. In fear I feel threatened and resistant both toward myself and the other. I tend to add up the faults of the other person and, of course, affirm my virtues. I tell myself this other person is disrespectful, impatient, unappreciative of me, and doesn't listen. I tell myself that I am respectful, communicating well, and would never treat her disrespectfully. This is how the image justifies itself. Does this sound a little silly? I hope so, because it is silly. It is also common, everyday, insane communications between people.

Here's the rule of thumb: if I think someone else is a problem person, then I'm the problem. This doesn't mean people don't do inconsiderate and even horrible things. This doesn't mean that I never talk to someone else about their poor behavior. It means that my discomfort, my anger, my resentment, and my irritation are not about them. Who am I being that I felt and spoke and acted the way I did? As Stephen Covey has said: "How you see the problem is the problem.". Yet, it goes beyond perception. It's who I am being that is the problem.

If I am going through my day and I feel great, my relationships feel great, and I feel in alignment with my Self I get to say, "Great! I'm doing it. I'm in the flow. I'm responding to people and to life. I'm expressing love." If things aren't going well, people are impatient with me, and I feel uncomfortable, I get to ask myself the question: "Who am I being that these things are happening?" Am I the kind of person who prizes suffering? Do I maintain it by refusing to forgive others? Am I the kind of person who likes drama? Am I starring in a drama where everyone else is wrong and I, alone, am right? Am I the hero who is going to set everyone else straight? Who am I being?

There are many self justifying images that people create. Examples include "I am the kind of person who is hardworking (not lazy), compassionate (not selfish), smart (not stupid) or not appreciated (for all that I do). We find these images in areas where we are particularly sensitive, defensive, or emotional. My example is the image that I am the kind of person who deserves respect. If this is the image I am managing then I will be on the lookout for disrespect. When I think I'm getting disrespect I will be angry, resentful, irritated. I will tend to interpret the moods of others as disrespect toward me. Wherever I carry this self justifying image I will spend my energy demanding respect rather than giving it. I will focus my energy on me rather than the other person. I will resist people rather than responding to them. I will feel threatened and fearful, and my behavior will arise from a place of fear and threat. If a person offers me disrespect, my demand for respect will not encourage respectful behavior. It will invite disrespect. But, you may ask: "Don't you deserve respect? What does one do when receiving disrespect? How do we motivate someone to be respectful?"

These are good questions. A Course in Miracles says that fear is a call for love. I have the option whether or not to answer the call. I answer the call by responding. I respond by taking the focus off me and putting it on the other person. I may ask what the problem is. I might tell the other person to back off. I may sense a deeper issue in the person and speak to it. I may let it go and not say anything. It is not what I do that makes the difference. It is who I am being in that moment. If I am responding from a place of caring about the well being of this person; of acknowledging their needs and concerns being as important as my own; and of doing what intuitively feels right, then I will respond with love. Whether my behavior is soft or hard is not important. Love can be either. Responsiveness can be either. This is not about portraying myself as a caring person (another self justifying image). It is about actually caring.

It can be difficult to get past our self justifying images because we have spent so many years crafting and protecting them. The truth is, these images are a lot of work to keep up. We must be constantly vigilant and on the defense. Wouldn't it be great to let go of the job of image management and just respond to people. Once you have decided to become aware of self justifying images and let them go the results are immediate. You extend an open invitation to all others to do the same. A sense of ease flows through you. Relationships become easier when you are responding, recognizing the humanity in others, and seeing the good in them. Others begin changing because you have given them someone different to respond to. Your love inspires, uplifts, and enlivens each person you encounter. It's not what you do for others that uplifts them; it is who you are being.

About The Author

William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach and the author of three books, including The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, 30 Days to Prosperity, and Beyond Blaming. To learn more about his books, services, and free gifts go to http://transformativepress.com.

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2006-12-13T04:29:00.000-08:00

The Big Question for Any Relationship
by: Neil Millar

I’ve got one big question. It’s a question that will make everything in your relationship completely worthwhile… even the bits that get on your nerves and cause you head and heart aches…

It’s the type of question you wouldn’t ordinarily ask - but that’s okay, because you didn’t know to ask it… until now!

For most people, relationships don’t go smoothly. Undercurrents, disputes, emotions, periods, children, habits, morals, values, work hours and workloads, these are just a few of the kind of things that can cause conflicts. But what if I told you something…

What if I told you it’s not about the issue?

My philosophy is that no issue is bigger than the relationship. If we’re honest it’s never really the issue that causes the problem. What causes the problem is the emotions behind the issue.

And what causes the emotions?

What causes the our relationship conflicts is, at the core, very rarely the issue that’s in front of us now. This may seem hard to take at first so let me explain a little more.

When we react to something someone says or does we are in effect re-acting - behaving in way we acted before. This is what we might call learned behaviour. We may have learned that behaviour in a number of ways: watching our parents behaviour in a relationship, seeing it on TV, our own experience etc.

Are these learned re-actions appropriate in all circumstances?

I’d say no. A few days ago my partner made a sweeping statement that… well… to be frank, pushed all my buttons. What she said was like a red rag to a bull. Thankfully I caught myself before any real damage was done. I immediately knew there was nothing wrong with what she had said, or how she had said it. But the words she used, reminded me of someone else and a pattern of behaviour I ran with them. This is the type of conditioned, unconscious, response I’m talking about.

If your partner presses your buttons does it mean the relationship bad?

Conflict doesn’t have to mean the relationship is bad. It can indicate that you, or your partner, or most probably both of you, on occasions, have some things that you need to become more aware of. If you can begin to view your relationship as a playground to work these things out, the relationship can become a whole new arena of fun and games. And this is where my question can really help…

My question will get you thinking about the how you can help yourself and your relationship become a harmonious haven rather than a gladiator’s ring. It will help you be a more understanding person for your partner and it will help to spare you from saying things you’ll regret later.

The question is profoundly simple. But when you ask it and use the outcome effectively you begin to take your relationship onto a new level. Things that used to cause you problems will vanish. And when new things come up they’ll have very little power.

When you find your buttons have been pushed the question you have to ask is this: What’s this really about?

Simple isn’t it. But it takes you right to the heart of the matter. As I said, relationship conflict is rarely about an issue and more to do with the conditioned responses.

By asking my question what you do is take the conditioned behaviour and transform it into the conscious. In effect what begins to happen is this: you move beyond the past conditioned response that causes conflict and are left with the current issue. This question allows you to understand what’s going on inside you. Knowing this means you can then bypass the past and deal with what is currently before you.

But what if you don’t want to move beyond the past?

Then I guess you’ll continue to re-act it out… until the pain and loss get the better of you.

My very good wishes

Neil

About The Author

Neil Millar
I hope that my newsletter, on creating a better life, will help you create a life you deserve. Find out more at http://www.neilmillar.net.

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2006-12-12T04:08:00.000-08:00

Shhh...How About a Little Quiet Time?
by: Kevin Eikenberry

I often say that our world is very different than it once was. And when I do people often shake their heads knowingly – I suppose that statement conjures a variety of ideas based on how old they are and from what vantage point they compare today with the past.

As our world continues to change, I believe there are some things getting lost that need to be re-found. The good news is many of these things can be re-discovered, and we have that power completely in our hands.

One thing we are losing is quiet.

We don't make room for quiet in our lives. When we are in the car, the radio is on. When we are walking or riding a bike or mowing our lawns or waiting for an airplane (add your own favorite activity here), we are listening to an iPod or something similar. When we are at home, or in many public places, the television is on. When we are working, the sound is turned up on our computers so we can hear the funny email, podcast, audio message from the CEO, or radio program on the Web.

These are all intentional activities and none of them include the ambient noise of traffic, other people and so much more.

And while we have all this noise around us, instinctively we know that quiet is a good thing.

We value the pause when a speaker gives us a chance to soak in his or her points. We enjoy the brief respite of quiet from a noisy conference. We enjoy a retreat to a quiet park or forest. While we know quiet is valuable and useful, we don’t always take advantage of that knowledge – we don’t choose quiet often enough.

However, in order for us to choose quiet, we must first choose some other things. We must choose to slow down. We must choose to stop multi-tasking. We must choose to be introspective. We must choose to spend time by ourselves. And all of these choices come before the choice for quiet – they are required prerequisites.

Think about it, how much time do you spend in quiet each day? While I haven't done a formal survey, I'll bet for the typical person, it is time measured in minutes – not even closely approaching an hour.

Ways to Use Our Quiet

Once you’ve made the choice to turn off the TV or radio, to take the earphones out of your ears, or to (gasp!) not fill that last open hour on your calendar with one more meeting, you’ve got to choose how to use your quiet time.

Rather than prescribing a specific thing you should do with that time, let me suggest a smorgasbord of ideas for you to consider. As you read the menu, pick the one or two you feel most drawn to, and start with those.

Do stretching exercises.

Clear your mind.

Review your goals and your progress towards them.

Visualize reaching your biggest goal.

Think about your day – reflect on the happenings and the lessons that can be learned.

Mentally preview tomorrow – planning and visualizing great success.

Review material from a book or training session.

Meditate.

Pray.

Practice deep breathing.

Think of creative solutions to a challenge or problem you are facing.

Count your blessings.

Recall pleasant memories.

In school our teachers said “Shhh” when they wanted us to be quiet and pay attention. I encourage you to tell yourself “Shhh” – to make time for quiet, to give yourself a chance to focus, to connect and to reflect.

It’s time for me to be quiet and to give you a chance to do the same.

About The Author

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on Unleashing Your Potential go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

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2006-12-11T03:13:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Excuses People Make For Dating Failure (Part Two)
by: Scot McKay

Last week we talked about the first five of the "Top Ten Excuses" single adults make for dropping out of the dating pool. Today we'll cover the second half of the list. Fair warning-the bottom half of the list is even more hard-hitting than the first five, so fasten your seat belts. If you are making excuses for dating failure, prepare to be challenged…in the best possible way!

The first five "excuses" centered around physical limitations, advanced age, kids, game playing and finances. Let's continue where we left off:

1) Shyness

If words are hard to come by and meeting people is not easy, you certainly aren't alone. For better or worse, women still largely expect men to approach them first, so men especially have to get around shyness. This is probably the #1 excuse men give (along with the next one), and citing it can only point to one thing: you simply lack the guts to go for it. Women love men who are confident, and being able to start a conversation with an attractive woman is a key indicator of this. So guys, you just have to find the courage to make conversations happen. There are innumerable books and articles written on this elsewhere, but the best place to start is simply to make conversation with waitresses, bank tellers and any other women you meet during the course of daily life. Once you realize they will be friendly back, you are on the road to getting over shyness. If, on the other hand, you find women are NOT responding well, it's time to address creepiness-because women will normally respond very favorably (if not necessarily romantically) to any man who is friendly and non-threatening.

Ladies if you find yourself clamming up when an interesting guy approaches you, the same concept holds true. Just treat the conversation as if with anyone you've already known for years. Easier said than done, I realize, but again practice makes perfect.

2) Fear Of Rejection

Ah yes…the second excuse that men so often make. Our poor egos would be sooo bruised if a woman fails to validate us. The quickest cure for this is for a guy to begin to view approaching women as an opportunity to validate HER as a potential friend rather than a "do or die" referendum on whether she "accepts" him or not. That way, there's really no "rejection" involved, is there? The prevailing scenario is-again-that typically women will be friendly to guys who aren't obnoxious or creepy. If they are in fact rude to a guy who approaches, my feeling is that the guy dodged a serious bullet. Who wants to get stuck with a rude woman?

Fear of rejection can manifest itself even after a relationship is rolling. If we've been "dumped" a few times in a row it's easy to give up on dating altogether. Once again, asking the right questions ASAP in a relationship can help make sure differences in goals don't show up later. It's also important to look in the mirror if we get dumped time and again-especially if for no apparent reason. Are you giving vibes that you might not be trustworthy long term? Have you become less personable as your "true colors" are shown? Are you pushing too hard for commitment too early? All of these are GREAT reasons to get "dumped". Make sure you aren't perpetrating your own revolving-door relationships.

3) Risk

Schedule a few dates in public places and you'll soon realize that most of your dates aren't "dangerous"…even the ones you meet online. Once such "physical risks" are mitigated, consider emotional risks carefully. If you are afraid of "getting hurt" consider the types of people most likely to inflict emotional pain and avoid them. This means asking the right questions regarding what is expected out of a ‘relationship' and-quite simply-not becoming emotionally attached to someone with a different agenda. Will you ever be able to take all "risk" off the table? No. But as Tennyson is so often quoted as saying, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Believe that, and you've cured yourself of this excuse…especially when you realize just how much lower the "risk factors" can truly be when the right conversations happen from the beginning.

4) "No Man Can Handle Me"

This is the mantra of smart, successful and / or strong willed women everywhere. Don't "dumb down" for anyone, but do make an effort to position yourself where you have the opportunity to meet guys who meet your standards. I'll be the first to acknowledge that sitting at the top of the bell curve means that your dating options are limited as a woman in particular. But you can and will meet a man you can respect…if you are determined. Don't give up.

5) Disdain For The Opposite Sex

Well, I hope that it comes as no surprise that people who really can't stand the opposite gender have a tough time finding someone of that demographic who is willing to commit to them. When spelled out so clearly it actually sounds silly, doesn't it? If your sexual orientation is straight yet you don't like the opposite sex much, plan on being very lonely until that is dealt with. Argue with me if you so choose, but my personal experience is that people who don't like the opposite sex are typically hard to get along with for members of their OWN gender also. Go figure.

Healthy relationships are one of life's greatest gifts. Everything we do here at X & Y Communications revolves around that principle. Instead of "giving up" in the face of doubt, the better response is to make the effort to deserve what you want. Through doing that the weakness imposed upon us by excuses for failure are transformed into power by virtue of taking responsibility for our own success. Cool, huh?

As I mentioned, this is a three-part series. But we've covered the top ten excuses people give for dating failures already, right? I believe that there is an even greater specter looming so large over the lives of many people that the shadow it casts requires a discussion unto itself. Its diabolical power to keep people mired in loneliness will be exposed and unraveled in the next issue.

About The Author
Scot McKay's dating strategies are found at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/ . Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.

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2006-12-10T03:36:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Excuses People Make For Dating Failure (Part One)
by: Scot McKay

One of the most unfortunate truths in the dating world is that a disproportionately large number of single adults have actually given up on dating completely. Interestingly, some such people really have no concrete answer as to why this is. Others are readily able to come up with an excuse or two (or ten). Either way, it's tragic that so many people voluntarily choose a life without any chance of meeting a "significant other".

My personal feeling is that just about any one of us walking this planet could theoretically join the throng of those who have thrown in the towel on dating. Each one of us could cite some excuse of our own and be done with it-after all, nobody's perfect.

Yet there are plenty of people who experience wild success in the dating world despite their own subset of imperfections. The secret is figuring out what negative thoughts are theoretically limiting us and addressing them effectively.

While there are an infinite number of reasons people can cite for dating failure, there's a definite "Top Ten List" of excuses people tend to cling to for dating failure. Today we'll consider the first five:

1) Physical Limitations

While it's always a great idea to be in the best shape one can and to make some effort with regard to one's appearance, it's shocking how many people cite a relatively minor physical imperfection and automatically assume nobody will be interested in dating them. Ironically, many of what we see as "limitations" may be "perfect imperfections" in the eyes of a beholder.

2) Advanced Age

It's not uncommon to believe one is "too old" to date. Amazingly, this sentiment can present itself as early as 28 or 30 years of age for some people! Meanwhile, a simple look around shows that there are "newlyweds" of all ages out there. Logically, of course, all of these people had to start dating somewhere…and it probably wasn't years and years ago! Interesting, despite the stereotype of older guys dating younger women I find that men and women make this excuse in equal numbers.

3) Kids

How many single parents exclude themselves from the dating pool using their kids as an excuse? Many claim that they are just waiting until the kids "leave the nest" before dating again. This could mean ten or twenty years from now! Something tells me that someone who plays this card will simply utilize a different excuse after the kids are finally out of the house (maybe the one above?). Other single parents claim that "nobody will accept them and their kids as a package deal". Hey, how about all the other single parents out there? Would they not relate better to another single parent? If you are one also why deny them the chance to meet you?

4) Games

If you've been lied to, cheated on and / or stood up repeatedly it's easy to call it quits on dating just to make sure it doesn't happen again. How about asking key questions of prospective dates up front instead? Find out what others are looking for from a relationship and encourage honesty. If you've been stood up some, call out "flakiness" in the very conversation in which the first date is arranged. These options, although very direct, are a lot more comfortable than spending life alone.

5) Finances

"Women want rich guys and I don't make enough money." "Dating is too expensive." "I can't afford a babysitter". Yawn. Whatever happened to assuming the best from someone else? Not all women are "gold diggers". Likewise, if a single parent is financially strapped enough that hiring a babysitter is out of the question, it's not uncommon for a potential suitor to volunteer to cover the cost. Although it may be uncomfortable to accept such an offer, consider that denying it means you are depriving someone of the chance to date you…which is what he or she clearly prefers or the offer wouldn't have been extended.

Already you may be getting the idea that it's easy for just about anyone to pick an excuse and run with it-and that each one is often merely a front for remaining in one's "comfort zone". Indeed, dating is not for lazy people. Leaving that "comfort zone" is prerequisite for conquering fears or feeling of inadequacy and taking direct control of one's future happiness.

Stay tuned for part two of this three part series next week.

About The Author

Scot McKay's dating strategies are found at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/ . Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.

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2006-12-08T03:18:00.000-08:00

Affirmations To Give Yourself a Break this Christmas
by: Rebeckh Burns

Once upon a time the celebration of Christmas evoked a warm relaxed feeling. In today’s world it seems more like a manic, overly stimulated blur. We get pressure from all angles! Finishing off our last projects at work, not to mention the Christmas party, spending endless amounts of cash, overeating, organizing everything, dealing with the in-laws, and keeping the kids entertained during their holidays. This leaves us little or no time to remember the true meaning of Christmas.

However all the over stimulation can be quite fun. It gives us a buzz to have everyone united at this time, reflect on loved ones, catch up with friends and eat yummy food. But if you’re a mess then you won’t be much fun to be around, so don’t feel guilty, treat yourself, be yourself, don’t lose yourself in the madness remember balance is the key.

So here are a few tips for staying sane amongst all of the chaos. First of all don’t skimp on anything for yourself. Book a facial or a massage right now! And make sure that you give yourself the time space to enjoy some precious time for you. Then plan and budget for the next three weeks, don’t forget your Spa treatments! Buy yourself a gift, a fabulous new outfit, don’t spend all your money on everyone else. When you feel good you will project happiness and everyone else will react to this positively. When you start neglecting yourself and giving all your energy to everyone else people will pick up on this and reflect negatively.

Start planning early and buying some extras with your weekly shopping, so that you start to build a stash of goodies in the pantry. The same goes for presents. Instead of stressing at the last minute and making a mad rush to the shops with all the other midnight shoppers, start planning now and put things away. If you are finding it hard to make ends meet. Remember that things always have a habit of working out and you need to affirm this, it is universal law.

A lot of people see money slipping through their fingers during this time and don’t know how to control there spending or feel guilty from spending money. What you need to remember with this is that money will always be replenished, keep open to abundance and practice those abundance and prosperity affirmations!

Another difficulty common at Christmas time is dealing with relies. The key to dealing with negative people or situations is to remember that it is your reaction not Great Aunt Mildred, that is actually causing you grief.

Put a white protective aura of pure white light around yourself when you come into contact with a frosty neighbor or a negative relative and don’t let other people’s energy and words get under your skin. Life is to short, they have the problem not you, but it’s how you react that will cause you the problem.

With children, make sure you share the load with other people. If you are currently a single parent call on the services of a close friend or a grand parent to give you a bit of space.

Key things to remember – Start planning your Christmas day menu early, book yourself some treats and put a new outfit into your budget. Start budgeting for presents and making a list of what you will need and who for. Send positive energy to people that are negative. If you only react with a positive attitude this gives you far more personal power than a negative person. Plan to spend time resting and rejuvenating.

Affirmations for stress, prosperity and positive protection from negativity.

I am calm, confident and at peace with my life
Prosperity based on the power of the universe exists in me now and always
Prosperity is my natural state and a part of my mind and my life
I expect unexpected good things to happen to me this day and everyday
Perfect health is now mine
I send out a white protective aura of pure white light around myself
Any negativity I may be experiencing is just a transitional stage leading to greater good
Any negative energy that is directed at me is immediately meet and dissipated with positive energy

About The Author

With a Ph.D. in Metaphysics, Rebeckh Burns realised through her research the dehabilitating effects of negative thoughts.

You can find out more about Rebeckh and her range of Meditation Music - Affirmation CDs and Visualization Content at your website.
http://www.flameproducts.com

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2006-12-07T03:45:00.000-08:00

Hard to Change?
by: Miami Phillips

How many times in the past have you tried to change something about you?

Have you read an article discussing the benefits of time management and made a promise to your Self to follow the steps? Or, maybe the last seminar or teleclass you attended had some great ideas for changing your financial standing. Writing a book? Losing some weight? Self improvement?

How far did you get?

Don't worry, you are not alone. Most of us at one point or another decide to do something for ourselves or someone else. We have the best intentions in mind. We might even make some changes towards our goals, and go so far as to take some action steps. Have you ever bought an exercise machine? Yes, me too.

What happens to us? Why is it so hard to make these changes? There are several reasons.

The first and hardest challenge is our old friend the ego. Our ego is completely happy right where it is. Furthermore our ego absolutely hates changes and will go to great lengths to convince you that change is the worst idea you ever had. In fact, your ego will actually fabricate fear and pain in order to keep the status quo!

We have all heard it takes 21 days to create a new habit. We could change the statement to: it takes 21 days to break our ego of its old habits!

Another challenge is our network of friends and family. They don't want us to change either. If you change, they have to change as well. Since they know you as you are, if you change to something new they will have to adapt to the new you. Now your friends and families' egos are all up in arms too!

So how do we change?

1. Find a group to help you. Get some new friends who think like you. Find someone you know who is already doing what you are doing.

2. Plan your change carefully. If you have a plan to follow, it is much simpler to keep to your path. Blindly stumbling around attempting to make changes allows your ego way too many chances to throw blocks in your road.

3. Use a calendar to track your progress, and to make your plan. Review and celebrate your accomplishments as you reach them. We tend not to look back at where we have been. You will need the encouragement as you reward your Self. Review your calendar daily to remind you of your steps to come.

Make room in your schedule and do these crucial-to-your-future tasks first!.

Here is the last thing to remember about change. It is sometimes better to change gradually than all at once. If you hold a vision of what you want the changes to look like, set a plan to get there, and take action on a regular basis, one day you will realize you are living your vision.

Of course by then, you will have another, different, and better vision.

Your Coach and online friend,

Miami

Miami Phillips
Helping others find their path - and stay on it. www.creativemasterminds.com

Quotation of the Week "Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."— Confucius

About The Author
Miami Phillips is an ANSIR Certified Personal Coach and the founder of Creative MasterMinds who believes personal growth is an essential ingredient to being happy and contributing to this world. While his main focus is affordable personal and business coaching, he also offers motivational teleclasses, ebooks, reading recommendations and much more. To find out more visit his site at http://www.creativemasterminds.com or send him an email at coach@creativemasterminds.com

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2006-12-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

How to Find the Perfect Gifts for Everyone On Your List
by: Chris Robertson

With the holidays just around the corner, many people are wracking their brains, trying to think of the perfect gifts for every person on their list. It can be hard to find gifts that convey the right emotional tone and that the recipient will enjoy. Here, then, are tips to find the perfect gifts for everyone on your list.

Friend, Family or Colleague?

First, write down the name of every person for whom you'd like to (or are obligated to) buy a gift. Next, give each person a rating on a scale of one to five, depending on how close they are to your intimate inner circle. If it helps, draw a series of five concentric circles, with the center circle representing those who know your dreams and aspirations and experience your joys and tribulations as they happen. The outer circle represents those people who may not know the "real" you, such as your boss or a business associate. There may be people on your list, such as your child's teacher, who isn't close to you, but who has made a tremendous difference in your child's life. Even though she may not know you well, you might decide to put her name in the second circle.

The reason for this exercise is to keep things in perspective when choosing gifts. It's all too easy to get swept up in the excitement of shopping, and select an inappropriately intimate gift for someone to whom you're not that close. Rating each person can seem calculating, but it will prevent you from buying lingerie for your pastor's wife!

Practical vs. Whimsical

The next step is deciding which people on your list would enjoy practical gifts, which would appreciate whimsical gifts, and which could go either way. So, put a "P" (for "practical"), a "W" (for "whimsical"), or a "PW" (for "practical or whimsical") next to each name. Women who are practical might enjoy a handbag or a blender, while those who are whimsical would appreciate jewelry and painted glass. Those who straddle the fence might find leather goods appealing, since they're both practical and luxurious.

The man who's whimsical might enjoy any number of personal electronics, such as a gaming system or DVD player. A practical man who's into cars, on the other hand, would appreciate a car alarm or even automotive parts. A man with a foot planted in both camps might enjoy something like a radar detector, a headset, or a telephone.

The Zen of Shopping

When you have many people on your gift list, it's important to keep yourself from getting caught up in shopping mania - going to the mall and grabbing whatever's available. Now that you have a list that has helped you define your relationships and determined the kinds of gifts each person might enjoy, why not take your time and shop online? Online mega malls have tens of thousands of items that would make perfect gifts. Best of all, they're often available at wholesale prices and the online stores can dropship them in a matter of a few days. No hassles, no worries, and your holiday shopping is complete!

About The Author

Chris Robertson is a published author of Majon International. Majon International is one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing and internet advertising companies on the web. Visit their main business resource web site at: http://www.majon.com

To learn more about subjects like Gifts please visit the web site at: http://365megamall.eordersonline.com/

For more information and informative related articles and links about this subject matter and content, please visit Majon's Gifts and Collectibles directory: http://www.majon.com/directory/Gifts_and_Collectibles

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2006-12-05T03:30:00.001-08:00

Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

Hearing that your cheating spouse is “in love” with someone else is devastating. I hear often, “I can handle her having sex with someone else. I think I can live with that. But, for her to give herself emotionally and “love” someone else…man, that is hard.” (Feel free to substitute the word he for she in this article.)

What can you specifically do to increase the odds of saving the marriage?

So often the offended spouse reacts with intense feelings and pulls out all stops to “win her back.”

He applies pressure. Begs. Cajoles. Makes promises. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Arranges for dates. Talks to her family and friends. Calls her on the phone. Asks questions… daily, sometimes hourly. He is on her like a fly on doo-doo.

It doesn’t work.Why? Well, for one reason she has found all the stimulation and excitement she supposedly needs in her new found “love.”

At a deeper level this is confusing enough for the cheating husband or cheating wife. Any additional input will be overwhelming and she is liable to close the door on the marriage even further. Plus, she is really looking for some stability, some solid centered core that will hold her firm when the wind of drama entices her and blows around her.

If you bombard her with your neediness, you are certainly not the person who can help her in ways she really seeks.

She also is liable to create a polarity and begin comparing you to him. With your neediness dripping all over you, you don’t stand a very good chance of coming out on top. Sorry!

Here’s a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving the marriage.It’s called “back off!”

Stop pressing. Slow down the pace. Be silent – most of the time. Stop making requests. Stop asking questions. Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance. Stop being a pain!

Remember, this “in love” state will fade. You need to have the confidence that it will. You need patience. The relationship will run its course.

She needs the space. She needs some quiet moments to truly hear herself and face the emptiness within. There will be a voice within her that says, “This will not last. Is this what I really want? At some time I must live in the real world. Where is this taking me? Is this where I really want to go? Why am I so dependent on him? Why do I feel this empty pit in my stomach when I’m not with him? What does this say about me?”

This is her opportunity to learn about TRUE love. Don’t get in her way.

I know. I know. This is easier said than done. But, you must do it. It is vitally important that you learn to quiet yourself, control yourself and keep on the straight and narrow path.

At this point with those I coach, I teach them a skill called "charging neutral" to help "back off." Use that skill.This will take some effort. It might take some coaching or therapy. It most likely will demand that you get to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in you – apart from what she does with him – that you build a strong foundation under yourself that can weather any storm.

This is your opportunity to grow to another level.

Oh, by the way. She will notice! And….she might like it.

Backing off does not mean that you don’t have anything to do with her. Quite the contrary. You want to maintain your contact with her, but it will be QUALITY contact. It will be contact that does honor to you, confronts her with the reality of her decisions and works toward resolution for the marriage.

Summary: Less often means more when facing emotional infidelity. Learning a specific skill such as "backing off" enhances one's chance to save the marriage.

About The Author
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com.

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2006-12-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

Improve Your Self Confidence In 15 Minutes
by: Mark Tyrrell

I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.

Here I'll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels...

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident and

Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I've turned out to be wrong.

4) Being specific - where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence’ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get

Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.

The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you - when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up' (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.

7) Use nature's goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident - now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Copyright 2005 Uncommon Knowledge Ltd

Uncommon Knowledge Ltd

About The Author

Mark Tyrrell is Creative Director of Uncommon Knowledge Ltd and is so confident these days he regularly trains audiences of hundreds. To help you build your confidence quickly, he has created this self confidence booster hypnosis download
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2006-11-30T04:58:00.000-08:00

Body Language Secrets You Need to Know
by: Royane Real

Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

Even if you never say a word, your face and body are constantly sending out messages to other people about your state of mind, your happiness, and your level of confidence.

When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say.

And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.

What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

How do you usually stand or sit when you are with other people? What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes?

Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask?

When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think other people interpret this posture? Did you realize that most people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you don’t want anyone to approach you? Only the bravest souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this posture.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They may fear that trying to talk with you will be an awkward experience.

When you stand awkwardly, you do not project any sign that you are confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in the people around you. Instead you look like you are trying to disappear.

No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, it’s not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with you.

If some body language signals can frighten people away, are there signals that will encourage people to come forward and approach you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is open and non-threatening.

Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that is upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up.

Become aware of the way you are breathing. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts?

If you notice that you are holding your breath, or breathing in a shallow, jerky manner, this is a sign of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you have to breathe more often, which can increase your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body to relax. Use your abdomen to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top.

What are you doing with your hands? If you get nervous in social situations, you may feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it’s the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest are probably doing so at least in part because they don’t know where else to put their hands.

You should never cross your arms in front of your chest unless you really don’t want anybody to approach you. That is the message this gesture sends out.

If you want to look open and approachable, keep your arms at your sides, or put one hand in your pocket. If you want to hold something in one hand, keep your hand at the side of your body, and not in front of you. Holding your arm in front of your body can be seen as a signal that you want to defend yourself against other people.

Stay aware of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, you will start to focus too much on your negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can quickly increase your anxiety to a very uncomfortable level.

What sort of facial expression should you have if you want people to approach you?

In most cases, a gentle, pleasant smile should do the trick. Too much of a smile that never softens can look forced and nervous. A pleasant smile with a twinkle in your eyes will convey the impression that chatting with you will be a pleasant experience.

About The Author

This article is taken from the new book by Royane Real titled "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want - Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want a better social life and more friends in your life, download it today at www.royanereal.com.

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2006-11-29T04:57:00.000-08:00

Women Hold Up Half the Sky
by: Arthur Buchanan

Women and Mental Health Research

Mental illnesses affect women and men differently. Some disorders are more common in women, and some express themselves with different symptoms. Scientists are only now beginning to tease apart the contribution of various biological and psychosocial factors to mental health and mental illness in both women and men. In addition, researchers are currently studying the special problems of treatment for serious mental illness during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Research on women's health has grown substantially in the last 20 years. Today's studies are helping to clarify the risk and protective factors for mental disorders in women and to improve women's mental health treatment outcome.

Depressive Disorders

In the U.S., nearly twice as many women (12.0 percent) as men (6.6 percent) are affected by a depressive disorder each year.1 These figures translate to 12.4 million women and 6.4 million men. Depressive disorders include major depression, dysthymic disorder (a less severe but more chronic form of depression), and bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness). Major depression is the leading cause of disease burden among females ages 5 and older worldwide.

Depressive disorders raise the risk for suicide. Although men are four times more likely than women to die by suicide, women report attempting suicide about two to three times as often as men. Self-inflicted injury, including suicide, ranks 9th out of the 10 leading causes of disease burden for females ages 5 and older worldwide.

Research shows that before adolescence and late in life, females and males experience depression at about the same frequency. Because the gender difference in depression is not seen until after puberty and decreases after menopause, scientists hypothesize that hormonal factors are involved in women's greater vulnerability. Stress due to psychosocial factors, such as multiple roles in the home and at work and the increased likelihood of women to be poor, at risk for violence and abuse, and raising children alone, also plays a role in the development of depression.

While many women report some history of premenstrual mood changes and physical symptoms, an estimated 3 to 4 percent suffer severe symptoms that significantly interfere with work and social functioning. This impairing form of premenstrual syndrome, also called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), appears to be an abnormal response to normal hormone changes. Researchers are studying what makes some women susceptible to PMDD, including differences in hormone sensitivity, history of other mood disorders, and individual differences in the function of brain chemical messenger systems.

Antidepressant medications known to work via serotonin circuits are effective in relieving the premenstrual symptoms. Women with susceptibility to depression may be more vulnerable to the mood-shifting effects of hormones.

Postpartum depression is a serious disorder where the hormonal changes following childbirth combined with psychosocial stresses such as sleep deprivation may disable some women with an apparent underlying vulnerability. NIMH research is evaluating the use of antidepressant medication and psychosocial interventions following delivery to prevent postpartum depression in women with a history of this disorder.

NIMH researchers recently found that women who suffer depression as they enter the early stages of menopause (perimenopause) may find estrogen to be an alternative to traditional antidepressants. The efficacy of the female hormone was comparable to that usually reported with antidepressants in the first controlled study of its direct effects on mood in perimenopausal women meeting standardized criteria for depression.

Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders, which include panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder, affect an estimated 13.3 percent of Americans ages 18 to 54 in a given year, or about 19.1 million adults in this age group. Women outnumber men in each illness category except for OCD and social phobia, in which both sexes have an equal likelihood of being affected.

Results from an NIMH-supported survey showed that female risk of developing PTSD following trauma is twice that of males. PTSD is characterized by persistent symptoms of fear that occur after experiencing events such as rape or other criminal assault, war, child abuse, natural disasters, or serious accidents. Nightmares, flashbacks, numbing of emotions, depression and feeling angry, irritable, or distracted and being easily startled are common. Females also are more likely to develop long-term PTSD than males and have higher rates of co-occurring medical and psychiatric problems than males with the disorder.

Eating Disorders

Females comprise the vast majority of people with an eating disorder?anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge-eating disorder. In their lifetime, an estimated 0.5 to 3.7 percent of females suffer from anorexia and an estimated 1.1 to 4.2 percent suffer from bulimia. An estimated 2 to 5 percent experience binge-eating disorder in a 6-month period. Eating disorders are not due to a failure of will or behavior; rather, they are real, treatable illnesses. In addition, eating disorders often co-occur with depression, substance abuse, and anxiety disorders, and also cause serious physical health problems. Eating disorders call for a comprehensive treatment plan involving medical care and monitoring, psychotherapy, nutritional counseling, and medication management. Studies are investigating the causes of eating disorders and effectiveness of treatments.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is the most chronic and disabling of the mental disorders, affecting about 1 percent of women and men worldwide. In the U.S., an estimated 2.2 million adults ages 18 and older, about half of them women, have schizophrenia. The illness typically appears earlier in men, usually in their late teens or early 20s, than in women, who are generally affected in their 20s or early 30s. In addition, women may have more depressive symptoms, paranoia, and auditory hallucinations than men and tend to respond better to typical antipsychotic medications. A significant proportion of women with schizophrenia experience increased symptoms during pregnancy and postpartum.

Alzheimer's Disease

The main risk factor for developing Alzheimer's disease (AD), a dementing brain disorder that leads to the loss of mental and physical functioning and eventually to death, is increased age. Studies have shown that while the number of new cases of AD is similar in older adult women and men, the total number of existing cases is somewhat higher among women. Possible explanations include that AD may progress more slowly in women than in men; that women with AD may survive longer than men with AD; and that men, in general, do not live as long as women and die of other causes before AD has a chance to develop. Research is being conducted to find ways to prevent the onset of AD and to slow its progression.

Caregivers of a person with AD are usually family members. Often wives and daughters. The chronic stress often associated with the care-giving role can contribute to mental health problems; indeed, caregivers are much more likely to suffer from depression than the average person is. Since women in general are at greater risk for depression than men are, female caregivers of people with AD may be particularly vulnerable to depression.

About The Author

Arthur Buchanan

Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!
http://freesuccessaudios.com/Artlive.mp3 THIS LINK WORKS, LISTEN TODAY!

With Much Love,
Arthur Buchanan
President/CEO
Out of Darkness & Into the Light
43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012
Huron Ohio, 44839
www.out-of-darkness.com
www.adhdandme.com
www.biologicalhappiness.com
567-219-0994 (cell)
arthur@out-of-darkness.com

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2006-11-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

The Simple Secret for Making More Friends
by: Royane Real

When you meet new people for the first time, do you usually like most of the new people that you meet?

Or do you find that you usually dislike new people, unless they can eventually prove after a long time that they deserve your friendship?

Perhaps you have never thought about this before. And you may even wonder if it’s really important. Does it really matter very much if you like most people when you first meet them, or if you decide to like them much later, after you get to know them better?

Your attitude to the new people you encounter will actually have a big impact on the number of friends you make, and the social life you enjoy.

Why? Because the attitude you have when you first meet somebody will affect the way that you treat those people, and the impression you make on them.

Many people who are lonely and have a hard time making friends have a surprising thing in common. When they meet new people they are often very judgmental and mentally they look for reasons to dislike the person they have just met.

When you have the attitude of liking someone you have just met, they will feel pleased to know you and will want to know you better. They will probably sense that you like them, and they will be more inclined to judge you in a kind and positive way.

If you like most of the people you encounter, you will have a far larger group of people in your friendship pool. When you genuinely like other people, they will be much more inclined to like you back.

On the other hand, when you don’t like people when you meet them, they will feel uncomfortable in your presence and will want to avoid you. They may sense that you don’t like them. They may even decide to dislike you in return. Every person that you dislike will automatically be excluded from the pool of people who can become your friends.

When you don’t like the majority of people that you meet, your friendship pool for making friends is much smaller.

If there is one secret to having friends, it’s a simple one, and here it is: Like Other People!

If you dislike almost everyone you meet, how many friends do you think you will make with this attitude? Very few of us want to get closer to a person when we sense that he doesn’t like us.

If you usually operate with a big long mental list of reasons to reject others, you will assume that other people are also deciding to reject you. If you routinely dislike other people because you are looking for their flaws, you won’t believe that others can really like you. When you reject other people for trivial reasons, you will also assume that others will reject you for trivial reasons.

This negative attitude will make you very suspicious when you encounter others, since you will be anticipating rejection from other people at any moment.

Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to give everyone a break?

When you meet other people, give other people a break, and give yourself a break too.

When you meet people for the first time, start out with the assumption that most people you encounter are nice human beings and worthy of your friendship. You can choose to believe that just about everybody you meet actually likes you, and that you like most other people. People who are very socially confident and have a lot of friends tend to have this attitude.

If this hasn’t been your attitude so far, you can work to change it.

How can you change this?

Whenever you meet someone new, actively look for things to like in that person. Look for their interesting and unique qualities. Suspend your need to judge and analyze others, and simply meet them as ordinary human beings who are struggling and evolving, and making their way through life, just like you. Find things that you like about each person, and let yourself feel that you actually like them.

You will find that when your attitude changes, the world will become a friendlier place, because you have become a friendlier person.

About The Author

This article is written by Royane Real, author of "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want – Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want to improve your social life, download it today at http://www.royanereal.com.

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2006-11-27T04:41:00.000-08:00

Let's Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem
by: Rosella Aranda

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it’s because you don’t know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true.

Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people.

Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors run the gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Here’s a small assortment:

* constant tardiness
* clumsiness, accident proneness
* failure to keep promises or honor commitments
* staying stuck in an unfulfilling job
* perfectionism
* feeling like a fraud, afraid that you’ll be exposed
* feeling empty, hollow despite outward success
* workaholism
* consistently poor choice of partners
* being a jack of all trades, master of none
* not knowing what you want to be “when you grow up”
* life-threatening addictions
* self-mutilation

Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we don’t deserve it.

To overcome the effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are.

We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter

We must sniff out the internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered.

We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Until the core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best.

We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our early childhood experiences.

I can hear it already. “Oh, no, don’t give me that ‘Poor Little Kid’ routine!”

Okay, I won’t. Instead, I’ll give you the “Who IS This Little Kid?” routine.

When we go delving into our past to determine the underlying dynamics of our psyches, the goal is:

* Not to cast blame
* Not to pass judgment
* Not to fob off our responsibility onto someone else

We’re not looking for what is good or what is bad, but simply what IS.

It is vital that we grant ourselves permission to look closely at what happened to us as very young children. We are searching for clues to the Truth of our early history.

Our goal is simply to appreciate our own personal saga and become fonder of ourselves in the process. As we do so, we will automatically feel more entitled to be happy and fulfilled in both our work and love lives.

That is our ultimate goal, and a worthier goal could not be had.

Where Else Do You Think You Can Look?

If your first reaction is to dismiss this idea as something you’ve heard about before, be aware that “knowing about” something is a far cry from understanding it or applying it.

And if you’re one of the many who think you “don’t need to go there,” just know that you won’t find your personal truth anywhere else.

Whether self-sabotage is ruining our lives or just quietly making us miserable, a start on the road to overcoming these self-defeating behaviors can be undertaken on our own.

If we should get stuck along the road, professional help through private therapists, clinics, and school or job counselors is generally available.

Once the underlying dynamics of our self-defeating behaviors are exposed and dealt with, it will be much easier to stop self-defeating behaviors in their tracks, before they have a chance to undermine us.

Once we reintegrate all of our personal power back into our lives, a whole new vista of possibilities opens up before us. This is a deeply exhilarating experience that none of us should miss.

About The Author

Rosella Aranda, Editor, Author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/ Free mini-course! http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/ Know How to Be Rich

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2006-11-23T02:39:00.000-08:00

The Triggers Of Anger
by: Burt Cotton

Triggers are what interrupts emotions and causes us to become angry. When we learn our triggers, we are taking a step in the right direction to control our emotions. First, we need to weed through the roots of anger to determine the problem. If you have obsessive anger, outbursts you might want to get a physical to eliminate chemical or physical roots of your anger.

Next, you will go to a mental health expert to eliminate mental illnesses that are often the root of anger. After you have done step one and two and the problem does not lie between mental illness and physical then you will need to attend anger management classes. Obviously, you have no control over your emotions; therefore, you will need to learn techniques that help you to cope better with your fears, frustrations, anxiety, depression and emotions. This will help you to move ahead in life and gain control of your anger.

You might want to ask your self what you are afraid of or what are the triggers of your anger? You might review the thoughts carefully to see if you anger is justifiable. Are you afraid to speak up and protect your rights? Is there something in your past that leads you to worry obsessively and enforce your anger? Maybe you were a victim of some incident in your past or you witnessed something that disturbed your conscious and you rambled through life without dealing with the stressor.

Regardless, you are affected somehow and your emotions are not cooperating with your thoughts. Some of us fret over things that are out of our control. For example, many of worry about growing old or dying, which is not in our hands to worry about? We all are growing older each day and it is a part of life that is out of our control. Likewise, we are all at risk of dying. It is how you deal with that makes or breaks your success. Accepting that you are growing old is the first step to eliminating worry that leads to anger.

Take the fear and reverse by telling your self that age is a factor of life that we all must face, yet I have some control. If I exercise, eat right, and take care of my skin then I may not look in the mirror when I am sixty and see an extremely wrinkled face and sagging skin. Likewise, if you know that you are dying and cannot do nothing about it, remember the more you take care of your mind and body the longer you will live.

Some of us worry about tomorrow and how we will manage to survive the next day. If you worry about tomorrow, you are missing what today can bring. No one has control of tomorrow and to worry about something that is out of our hands is wasting time and energy. If you have problems with worry, you might want to remember that today is another day and thank the Lord that you are breathing.

Worry is a form of selfishness, since you are anticipating a problem that may or may not occur. Some of us fear that we will go insane if our problems continue to escalate. This fear is not justifiable because you cannot predict your mind. Your mind may feel at wits ends, but you have control to handle your emotions if you reach inside your self and face your fears. Now we can review triggers by seeing that unjust and justifiable triggers are linked to emotions, which causes anger.

We might find that we are responsible for our emotions and failed to take charge of them, allowing them to rule our lives. We might even find a source in the past that invoked our emotions and promoted an undeveloped mind. When you find your triggers and review your problems, you are taking charge of your anger and your life will prove fruitful for your efforts. Triggers are objects, words, pictures, sound, taste, smell and when a person is triggered to anger, they often react either positively or negatively to the source.

About The Author

Burt Cotton http://www.anger-management-help.org

=============================

2006-11-22T09:37:00.000-08:00

Handing The Bat To Joe DiMaggio
By Steve Amoia

An American Cultural Icon

If you ever played baseball, the mystical name of DiMaggio was as familiar as the crack of the bat, or the thud of the ball hitting the back of the catcher's mitt. Just like cold beer, hot dogs, and the seventh inning stretch, Joe DiMaggio was an integral part of American baseball tradition and lore.

If you grew up Italian as I did, you never referred to him as Joe or DiMaggio. It was always Mr. DiMaggio. He became an American icon; however, to Italian-Americans, he represented much more than the perfect swing, the graceful strides, or "The Streak" that would make him immortal. Mr. DiMaggio embodied what our people could achieve despite discrimination and media stereotypes that unfortunately still linger even today.

Giuseppe Paolo DiMaggio was born in Martinez, California, on 25 November 1920. He was the eighth of nine children born to Giuseppe and Rosalie, who were immigrants from the Sicilian island of Isola della Femmina (Island of the Women.) His father was a fisherman; however, young Joe did not like the rigors of Fisherman's Wharf. He preferred to play on the sandlots of North Beach, which was and is an Italian section of San Francisco.

His father thought that Joe was lazy, and hoped that the allure of baseball would soon leave his son. Like most immigrant fathers, he wanted more for his children than a future of working the docks of San Francisco. But Joe was not an avid student, and at the age of 16, he dropped out of Galileo High School, and worked various laborer jobs for the next few years. He played semi-professional baseball for the San Francisco Seals, and in due course, was scouted and later signed by the New York Yankees.

Rare Childhood Opportunity

My father, Michael Amoia, had a rare opportunity as a child. His family lived near Griffith Stadium, which was at that time the home of the Washington Redskins and Senators. My father was very athletic, and competed in baseball and football for his high school, McKinley Technical. Somehow, and it remains a family mystery, my father obtained a job working for both the Redskins and Senators. My grandfather was not a sportsman, and one can imagine that few adolescents would have been brave enough to walk into the administrative offices of Griffith Stadium to ask for a job.

The ironic facet of this story was that few of his old friends knew about this part of his life. When I mentioned the anecdote during his eulogy, several of his friends approached me later with seeming disbelief. It was a part of my father’s life that was very private, but one that always fascinated me. During his life, he would mention DiMaggio on occasion.

I had an older cousin, Rob, who had heard the story in more detail. My father worked in the clubhouse for the Redskins, and was a batboy for the Washington Senators, where his domain was the visitor's dugout. He handed Joe DiMaggio his bat on several occasions. Dad was able to observe Mr. DiMaggio both on and off the field. The experience was imbued upon his memory. Even as my father developed Alzheimer’s Disease, the mere mention of Joe DiMaggio would bring a smile to his face.

Personal Reflections by Michael Amoia

Dad, what was he like? "He was a very quiet and private man. In the clubhouse, he didn't say much, and the other players left him alone. But you knew he was their leader. He had custom-made suits, and always looked sharp. He even looked good in those baggy uniforms they wore back then. He used to drink coffee and smoke Chesterfields between innings, and a few times I had to run out to by him smokes. You were told by the Senators to treat all the players the same, but with DiMaggio, it was a different story... His family was Sicilian. After the games, he used to sign balls for me. I sold them outside the stadium for $1. That was a lot of money in those days. That's how we were paid. We had to ask the players to sign balls or broken bats."

What made him great? "Instincts. He always seemed to do the right thing. You never saw him out of position in the outfield. He was quick as a cat. Strong arm. Didn't miss cutoff men. At bat, you never saw a smoother or quicker swing. Only Ted Williams was a better hitter. He could hit for power and for a high average. He was very graceful for a big man. He played each inning as if it were his last. I never saw him get angry."

Few of us could have such a childhood memory. It is said that youth is wasted on the young; however, in my father’s case, I would beg to differ.

Copyright © 2006 by Steve Amoia. All rights reserved. Photo courtesy of Wikipedia where it qualified as free use under U.S. copyright law.

About the author

Steve Amoia is a freelance writer and also designs personal web pages. He lives in the Washington, D.C. area. He has published articles and book reviews about alternative health, career-related themes, Italian and international soccer, along with martial arts. He also maintains a non-profit web site dedicated to World Football (soccer) that includes an interesting Argentine family connection made possible by the Internet. His writing portfolio, along with the soccer site, may be found at http://www.sanstefano.com, and his email address is info@sanstefano.com.

2006-11-21T04:33:00.000-08:00

There Is No Excuse For Being Unhappy
by: Ineke Van Lint

Many people are living a life of sadness, despair, fear and anger, as if they were living in a basement with a very low ceiling. A cold, damp ceiling of dense concrete, keeping them down. There are no windows in this place, no sunshine coming in, no birds singing, no nightingales, no voices of children playing, no affection, no tenderness. Instead there are tons of misery, illness, sadness, anger, depression, fatigue, anxiety, doubt and low self-esteem.

How can you leave these gloomy quarters? How do you go back to the gentle sunlight? All you need to do is take a few steps up the staircase, and there you are: on the first floor, where there’s lots of light, love, abundance, joy, well-being and plenty of sunshine – even if it’s raining outside. All of this is just one floor away! One floor up, in fact.

Why is it so hard to leave the basement, to wake up from this nightmare, and to reach that place where you long to be, when it is just a few steps away? Because “they” have told you that this murky basement you’re living in is all there is, and you have taken their word for it. Who are “they” ? They are your parents, your teachers, people around you, TV shows you watch, newspapers you read, and so on.

You think this sad life in the basement is reality, and that love and excitement is the stuff that dreams are made of. My dear, you are living an illusion! You are living a huge misunderstanding, for it is exactly the other way around. It is the darkness that is the dream (a nightmare in fact), and Love and Light that is real.

Unfortunately, “they” never told you that real life is happening just a few steps up. They never told you that you are living in a nightmare. Why didn’t they tell you? Are they that sadistic? Didn’t they want you to be happy and healthy and abundant? Oh yes, they did! So why didn’t they tell you? Because they simply don’t know themselves! They too believe, and have believed for their whole life, that the lies they are living are the truth, that the nightmare is real. And so they couldn’t have told you anything else than the lies they themselves take for truth.

This handover of misunderstandings and lies has been going on for a very long time, generation after generation. Do you really want to stay under that ceiling, cramped and swamped in darkness and misery? Do you want your children to fall for these lies, “living” a “life” of discontent, heaviness and chronic disease? Or do you want to live one step beyond, a few steps up, being showered with love and feeling the sunshine on your face?

How do you get there? It’s right there!

You will have to stretch yourself a little bit to get there. You will have to take a serious look at your belief system and carefully examine the core beliefs that all of your thoughts are built upon. Then you will need to decide whether you will continue believing the lies they told you, or whether you will abandon those limiting ideas, make up your own mind, and take a shot at living in joy and excitement.

Stretch yourself, step out of your comfort zone. You will have to quit some bad habits and leave behind some of the people you used to hang out with. You can no longer dwell in negative energy vibrations once you have made up your mind that you want to live on a positive vibe.

How can you go one floor up and step back into the light? There are several things you can do! Take a walk in nature, listen to some uplifting music, read an inspiring book, attend workshops to develop your talents, discover your inner truth and your true nature in moments of silence, take your dreams serious and do whatever you can to realize them. Nurture your passions: sing, dance, paint, draw, make love with your loved one, connect with your guardian angel, look into the eyes of a child, play with your pets, make friends with the Universe, have a conversation with God (and with the neighbors), follow your own path, lift your vibration with therapies like Bach Flower Therapy, and so on. In a nutshell : surround yourself with people, objects and activities that have a high energy vibration and that makes your energy flow in your body. There is so much to enjoy!

There is so much you can do to uplift your energy vibration, that there is absolutely no excuse to stay underground. Unless you consciously choose to be loyal to those who tell you there is no fun in life, that this misery is just the way life is, that you have to accept it, and that the basement is the only room in the house. You have a choice to make: or you make it your priority to uplift your energy, or you stay where you are. It’s totally up to you! You have the freedom to choose. Since everybody can go upstairs, since access is denied to nobody, there really is no excuse not to go there…

You should do every day things that make you feel happy. It won't happen by itself. Make a list of what makes you feel smiling and what uplifts your energy, and start doing at least some of these things every day! You can, nobody withholds you!

Consider this: the effort needed to go up that staircase is no bigger than the effort needed to stay under that low ceiling, carrying a heavy load on your shoulders. The effort is the same but the results are vastly different! Staying where you are is wallowing in misery and pain. Going upstairs is telling the world you really believe you and everybody else deserve a life filled with light and enthusiasm! Your life is waiting for you! Go up there and get it! Don’t wait for it to happen by itself. Stand up, move your body, take action and do what makes you feel better!

Why not go up? The difference is enthusiasm!

About The Author

Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. Live your life your way, full of joy, abundance and enthusiasm! Decide to be happy and go for it! Follow your dreams. Two free e-courses on http://www.theenthusiasm.com.

===========================

2006-11-20T03:48:00.000-08:00

Easy weight-loss - without a diet!
by: Michael McGrath

There are many different reasons why someone may want to lose weight. You may want to feel healthier, look better, fit into your old clothes or even have been advised by a medical practitioner to get in shape. However, if you are one of those people who battle constantly with your weight then you already know how hard it is to stick to a diet. In the majority of cases they just don't work!

All the current slimming pills and weight-loss fads are of extremely limited effectiveness. When you take into consideration the dangers of surgical procedures and the lack of long-term studies of new-fad diets a safe, reliable alternative is needed.

Although many claim that there are painless ways of losing weight the simple is truth is that weight-loss, like everything else worth achieving in life, requires some effort on your part. However there are techniques and tools to make your transition to health much more enjoyable and easy. A great example is the Paul McKenna famous system which was tested on British television with remarkable results. It didn't even involve hypnosis!

McKenna spent 13 years analyising the behaviours of naturally thin people in order to devise his weight-loss system and found some amazing things.

Every person has an inborn weight control mechanism, a set point that attempts to maintain a particular amount of fat on the body. Based on this premise Paul McKenna formulated his easy to use weight-loss system which as I mentioned earlier had an enormous beneficial affect on the British TV viewing public. He even allowed people to eat what they wanted and they still lost massive amounts of weight!

Normally when we go on a diet we are forcing the body to adjust to a new way of eating. This is in effect resisting the powerful totally natural urges the body has to prevent energy deficit. So appetite suppressants may help to reduce these drives, and forcing a change in eating habits may retrain the body and mind into a new eating regime but the body will still has these urges because they are inherent and totally natural.

In addition many people overeat due to stress or the desire to suppress negative emotions or feelings of discomfort. Everyone knows the classic 'comfort eater'. This is why the use of self hypnosis is so effective for weight-loss because it can retrain the mind to view food, fitness and eating in more healthy ways.

However, McKenna's research shows that, if you follow your own body's natural rhythm and don't force yourself into strict eating habits or deny yourself the food you want most then you will be much more successful at losing weight. By denyng yourself certain things you set up resistance and you will make it much more difficult to stick to your weight-loss plan. The mind is tricky and I am sure you will agree that you always want something more when you know that you can't have it!

The key is to stop denying yourself the foods you really enjoy but to at them in moderation. I know this is easier said than done but McKenna has some simple yet powerful techniques to ensure your success. Basically you can eat what you want!

Stop eating once your full! Many of us, myself included, tend to keep eating after our body has sent the brian the message "right stop eating I'm satisfied". We need to learn to recognise these signs and take heed of them.

Take an extra 15 minutes of exercise a day. Spread it over the day so it is achieved in very small steps and you will be burning up more calories.

All the current slimming pills and weight-loss fads are of extremely limited effectiveness. When you take into consideration the dangers of surgical procedures and the lack of long-term studies of new-fad diets a safe, reliable alternative is needed.

Although many claim that there are painless ways of losing weight the simple is truth is that weight-loss, like everything else worth achieving in life, requires some effort on your part. However there are techniques and tools to make your transition to health much more enjoyable and easy. A great example is the Paul McKenna famous system which was tested on British television with remarkable results. It didn't even involve hypnosis!

McKenna spent 13 years analyising the behaviours of naturally thin people in order to devise his weight-loss system and found some amazing things.

Every person has an inborn weight control mechanism, a set point that attempts to maintain a particular amount of fat on the body. Based on this premise Paul McKenna formulated his easy to use weight-loss system which as I mentioned earlier had an enormous beneficial affect on the British TV viewing public. He even allowed people to eat what they wanted and they still lost massive amounts of weight! - http://www.personal-development.info/weight-loss.html

Normally when we go on a diet we are forcing the body to adjust to a new way of eating. This is in effect resisting the powerful totally natural urges the body has to prevent energy deficit. So appetite suppressants may help to reduce these drives, and forcing a change in eating habits may retrain the body and mind into a new eating regime but the body will still has these urges because they are inherent and totally natural.

In addition many people overeat due to stress or the desire to suppress negative emotions or feelings of discomfort. Everyone knows the classic 'comfort eater'. This is why the use of self hypnosis is so effective for weight-loss because it can retrain the mind to view food, fitness and eating in more healthy ways.

However, McKenna's research shows that, if you follow your own body's natural rhythm and don't force yourself into strict eating habits or deny yourself the food you want most then you will be much more successful at losing weight. By denyng yourself certain things you set up resistance and you will make it much more difficult to stick to your weight-loss plan. The mind is tricky and I am sure you will agree that you always want something more when you know that you can't have it!

The key is to stop denying yourself the foods you really enjoy but to at them in moderation. I know this is easier said than done but McKenna has some simple yet powerful techniques to ensure your success. Basically you can eat what you want!

Stop eating once your full! Many of us, myself included, tend to keep eating after our body has sent the brian the message "right stop eating I'm satisfied". We need to learn to recognise these signs and take heed of them.

Take an extra 15 minutes of exercise a day. Spread it over the day so it is achieved in very small steps and you will be burning up more calories.

So to outline:

Naturally thin people eat whatever they want! Now this may lead you to believe that they have a higher metobolism or have been blessed with fat burning genes but the truth is much simplier and applies to everyone. Which leads us to our next point.

Naturally thin people have a different psychological view about food and fitness. This is why they can eat what they want. By changing what food means to you at a deep subconscious level you change your automatic responses to food and exercise.

Naturally thin people don't have uncontrollable food cravings. McKenna teaches that any cravings you have are merely learned behaviour and they can be unlearned. He shows how it is possible to break all cravings and re-programme your mind in just minutes

If you follow these simple steps, as outlined in this article, you are guaranteed success and a new healthy, fit body.

About The Author

Michael McGrath is the owner of several successful Internet businesses, a university computer graduate and he has over 21 years experience with personal development. His most popular sites are Personal Development - The personal development industry put to the test. We only review personal development products that work!

Hypnosis - The best hypnosis & self hypnosis products reviewed. Find out what really works!

personal-development.info

webmaster@personal-development.info

===============================

2006-11-19T05:24:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Skills for New World of Work
by: Michelle L Casto

There are many changes coming in the world of work, such as increased competition, the need for more education and certifications, and the trend to change careers 5-7 times in a lifetime. No matter what job or career path you decide to take, there are some basic skills that all employers look for. To succeed in the modern world of work, keep your skill set up- to- date. The following is a list of the top ten skills needed for the new world of work.

1. Communication

Communication is the ability to effectively communicate your thoughts and ideas in person, on paper, and over the telephone. It involves listening to others and being open to other viewpoints and opinions.

What communication skills can you develop?

2. Creativity

Creativity is the ability to think and act “out of the box.” To be creative is to discover new and innovative ways of thinking and doing things.

How can you be more creative?

3. Technology

Understanding technology is the willingness to utilize computer systems, the latest software, etc.. Embracing technology means using the computer in your daily life and on the job.

What do you need to embrace technology?

4. Team Work

Team work is the ability to work effectively in a team situation. It is being able to utilize the right people to get the best results and being willing to lead and to follow.

What do you can you be counted on to bring to a team?

5. Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to “go with the flow.” To be flexible, you change on an as-needed basis, with the ability to “change hats” frequently.

How can you bend and stretch more?

6. Information Management

Managing information is the ability to know where to get needed information---to search, locate, and retrieve it. This may involve utilizing various resources, whether they be people, printed materials, or the vast world of technology.

Where do you need to go to get the information you need?

7. Self Management

Self management is the ability to manage oneself in personal and professional situations. When you manage yourself, you are able to respond appropriately to stressful situations.

How can you more effectively manage yourself?

8. Customer Care

To care for the customer is the ability to care about the needs and concerns of other people, especially those you serve. It is to “go the extra mile” for your customers or clients.

In what ways can you go “the extra mile” for others?

9. Character

To have character is to project a positive image by acting in a manner that reflects trust, confidence, honesty, and integrity.

What kind of character do you want to project?

10. Personal Development

To develop personally is the ability to continuously improve upon one’s skill set. It is to be dedicated to lifelong learning.

How can you commit to lifelong learning?

It is never too early to develop these key skills. And,with practice and commitment, you will become the kind of worker employers are looking for.

About The Author

Michelle L. Casto is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker and author of Get Smart! About Modern Career Development: A Personal Guide to Creating Your Life’s Work. www.getsmartseries.com

and www.brightlightcoach.com
coach@getsmartseries.com

==============================

2006-11-18T01:39:00.000-08:00

Living With a Bold Heart
by: William Frank Diedrich

A bold heart is a big heart. It does not play at being small. It is not tentative or hesitant. It moves forward, embracing life, creation, and its own ability to love. Most people do not carry a bold heart because their heart has been broken. We experienced rejection, abuse, or abandonment as children and so our heart was wounded. The wounded heart is carried forward into adulthood, recreating more hurtful situations for itself. A wounded heart suffers from the still unmet needs of childhood. It is always looking for that which will fix it, seeking nurturance in other people, money, food, alcohol, self pity, injury, or illness. A wounded heart cannot live fully because it is not whole.

How do we heal our hearts? How do we go from woundedness to boldness? How do we move from scarcity to abundance? It begins by making a commitment to love. A commitment to love is an intention to align with positive energy. It is an intention to heal, to seek only that which is highest and best for ourselves and others. We create positive energy by cultivating loving thoughts and emotions within ourselves.

I recall a story about a reporter who interviewed baseball umpires. He asked these umpires how they called a pitch a ball or a strike. He asked two umpires about their methods. Both said: "I call it the way I see it." He asked another umpire, "How do you call balls and strikes?" The umpire answered: "That pitch isn't anything until I say what it is."

You are the umpire of your life. Every day the world appears to throw people and events at you. These people and events aren't anything until you say what they are. You create your experience. If you see the world through wounded eyes, you will see hurt, rejection, lack, struggle, and pain. If you see the world through the eyes of a bold heart, you will see opportunity, abundance, and victory.

I may be rejected a hundred times. I may feel hurt and unworthy as a result. I can wallow in these feelings, setting myself up for more rejections, and more hurt. I can isolate myself to prevent rejection. These choices are out of fear and will lead me back into more experiences of fear. Fear becomes a way of life that I am comfortably uncomfortable in living. Have I had enough of rejection, of being hurt? Am I ready to live differently?

Choosing love, I begin to forgive all those who seemingly hurt me. I forgive myself for letting them. I forgive God and life for the suffering I thought was given to me. I change my perception, realizing that there is no such thing as rejection. There are only choices--the choice to leave; the choice to stay; the choice to suffer; the choice to be happy or not; the choice to love or to live in fear. It is a life changing decision to choose love as a way of seeing the world. This doesn't mean we never feel fear or anger. It means that we always return to love. We find ourselves in the midst of anger, of resentment, of frustration, of feeling hurt, and we choose to remember.

Realizing my suffering is self imposed, I begin to question my reactions to people and events. When I feel rejected, I step back from myself and see what is really happening. Have I set myself up for this experience? Did I fail to value myself? Did I treat this other person as an object, a prize to be won or lost? Did I care about this person or was I only concerned about winning his approval? Did I value myself enough to make decisions about what I wanted, to say how I felt, to express my inner being? Did I speak my needs, desires and ideas, or did I make the other person responsible for the relationship?

The intention to love causes me to raise my value. At the same time I value others by not imposing my will upon them. I am free and so is everyone else. I am free to be happy or not. Others are free to be with me or not. I can say to any person or thing, whether it be business or personal: "You are free to be with me or not. If you choose not to be, then I wish you well. If you choose to be with me, then let us appreciate one another as we are."

The Divine Presence has no desire that you suffer. The Divine Presence is pure love. You are an expression of this Presence. Its pure positive energy is always flowing through you. When you appreciate life, see the good in yourself, see the blessings others offer you, you align yourself with the pure positive energy of the Universe. As you spend more time appreciating self, life, and others you raise your vibration. The energy field that emanates from you becomes lighter, more approachable. You begin to attract more loving experiences.

We find our bold heart one step at a time. We find it by consistently refusing to be dragged into the depths of negative thinking. We can become aware that an inflow of negative thinking is a thought attack we launch upon ourselves. When my thought attacks hit, I say to myself: "I am not interested in this. I have seen this movie before. I wrote it, produced it, directed it, and starred in it a hundred times. It bores me; I'm not interested." I consciously change my thought to something more productive, more interesting, more in alignment with the Divine Presence from which I was created.

It takes courage to love. It seems easier to insist on being right rather than making peace; to be small and wait for the world to cater to our needs; to wear our hurt feelings on our sleeves because others don't fulfill our expectations. It takes courage to look at ourselves with honesty and compassion; to withdraw our energy from being a victim; to stop blaming.

A bold heart lives within your being. It desires to give of itself, to live life passionately and joyously, to live courageously. It is so bold that you may fear it, taking refuge in your suffering and discomfort. Love is nothing to be afraid of. It is your essence. Living with a bold heart is like coming home to your Self. You feel accepted by you, blessed by the Divine Presence, and free of fear.

About The Author

William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach and the author of three books, including The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, 30 Days to Prosperity, and Beyond Blaming. To learn more about his books, services, and free gifts go to http://transformativepress.com.

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2006-11-15T23:10:00.000-08:00

7 Things Happy People Know How To Do
by: Kathy Gates

Ever notice how some people just seem to be able to be content and bounce back no matter what the circumstances? Research shows that this isn’t a gift or a talent – it’s a skill that they have developed. Surprised? Well, the real surprise is that you too can put to work their techniques and make your life happier too.

1. Happy people cooperate with life.

Each person has a destiny to fulfill. You can fight it or cooperate with it. Does that mean you just lay back and let life happen? No. But you can adopt the attitude that you will play the cards you are dealt the very best you can. When you begin to cooperate with life, you will notice new ways in which you are motivated. Life wants you to realize your destiny. Wouldn’t you rather cooperate than battle with life?

2. Happy people don’t just think positive, they act

positive.

Thinking positive definitely has its place, and you’ll need to change your thoughts to ever be truly happy. But don’t wait on the feelings to come. You have direct control over how you act and what you think (feelings and physiology are indirectly affected). If you want to be a happier person, act happier. If you want to be a more compassionate person, act more compassionate. If you want to be a friendlier person, act friendlier. The feelings will follow.

3. Happy people ask for what they need.

Good things don’t generally just fall out of the sky. Complaining gets you nothing, except to attract you to other complainers. If you believe that “you reap what you sow”, then asking for what you want makes much more sense than sowing complaints. It’s your choice-- you can choose to point fingers and assign blame, and still end up with nothing. Or you can simply ask.

4. Happy people are willing to change.

It’s contrary to all laws of nature for things to stand still. If you try to make that happen, you’ll always be disappointed. If you let fear of change stop you, you are in essence *agreeing* to not having what you want. You can believe that change will harm you and resist it. Or you can embrace it and believe that it will help you. It all depends on what you decide to believe.

5. Happy people don’t allow themselves to be

defeated.

A failure or set back does not mean that the goal will never be yours, nor is it evidence that you should quit. It simply means that you need more practice, more experience. Be willing to make mistakes. Don’t give up. Don’t allow one slipup, or setback from the outside, influence you to erase all the progress you’ve made. Feel the joy of the finish line!

6. Happy people live in the present.

If you are alert to the present, and anticipating the future, you are better able to take advantage of opportunities. If you are brooding over the past, you’ll be blinded to present possibilities, and lose the advantage for future prospects. A happy life is the product of living a great present. And a well lived present is a guarantee of a wonderful future. You can only affect your future by what you do today.

7. Happy people plan ahead.

Happy people know that they must exercise mastery in their lives, show control in their life in order to guard against feelings of being helpless and victims. Planning is essential to getting things done. Planning is essential to making sure you are spending time on your priorities, and not just the next thing that gets your attention. Plan for what’s important to you, and choose to spend your limited time, money, energy, and resources on it.

About The Author

Kathy Gates is a Professional Life Coach in Scottsdale Arizona. What is Life Coaching? I help people become better satisfied with their lives by making some changes, or pursuing a goal. Visit www.reallifecoach.com for information, products and services and sign up for her free newsletter
kathy@reallifecoach.com

===================================

2006-11-15T04:36:00.000-08:00

The Power Of Words
by: Michael Manjin

Have you heard the expression “Be careful what you wish for - you’ll most likely get it?” I’d like to expand on that by adding not only are your thoughts critical to the manifestation of your reality so are your words.

It’s not what you say but how you say it

There are words you most likely use each and every day which are perfectly acceptable in common conversion and yet can have detrimental effects on the manifestation of your reality. Your thoughts along with the words you choose to convey those thoughts sets up vibrations that are constantly being sent out to time and space around you. Like attracts like so naturally you begin to draw toward you those vibrations that match your frequency at a particular point in time space. You may not realize it but you are a magnet attracting those events toward you that ultimately manifest your reality. What this means for you is that you not only have to choose your thoughts carefully but also your verbalization of those thoughts.

Take for instance three very common words that we all use regularly in our everyday speech: don’t, won’t and can’t. Realistically you could add additional words to the list such as “no” and “try” but these four letter words just seem to have a better ring to them don’t you think?

So what is it about these words that make them so undesirable and detrimental to our well being? For starters they are words of exclusion. When you say these words you are conveying to the universe events or experiences you do not want in your life. Source energy however, doesn’t understand the difference between like and dislike, positive or negative, right or wrong and quite frankly it doesn’t care. Its job is not to judge but to deliver that upon which you focus your predominate thoughts. This is the basis of the universal Law Of Attraction which implies that you draw towards yourself, for better or for worse, those events that match the frequency of your predominate thoughts. It stands to reason then that instead of declaring what you don’t want or wish to exclude why not frame it in terms of what you do want or wish to include? Start attracting towards you that which you do want instead of that which you don’t want and watch how your reality manifests itself.

For example:

“Johnny don’t spill your milk”, becomes, “Johnny please drink your milk”.

We want Johnny to drink his milk. No encouragement for spilling is necessary.

“I can’t figure this out, it’s too complicated”, becomes, “I enjoy a challenge and I will find the answer to this problem.”

If you think you can or think you can’t your right.

“I won’t go out with men that are losers”, becomes, “I appreciate the company of intelligent, sensitive and confident men.”

Do you see the difference?

By thinking and speaking of excluding undesirables you inadvertently draw attention to it and thus draw it closer to your reality. Remember, always think and talk about what you do want, can have and will do and not what you don’t want, can’t have and won’t do.

During the course of a typical day how many times do you think and talk about those events that imply don’t, can’t or won’t? Include the many other words that have a similar effect like “no” and you get the idea. In reality precisely the opposite effect of your intentions are being manifested. The next time you find this happening to yourself try this simple exercise to empower your thinking and get you back on track towards manifesting the reality you truly desire. Just stop thinking! For a short time that is. The next time you find yourself experiencing events and emotions which are not empowering to you stop those thoughts and force your thinking to those thoughts that you find empowering. Any thought that makes you feel good is an empowering thought. When you feel good about yourself and the world around you then you know you’re on track with your thinking.

Here’s a simple, easy and quick aid to help straighten out your thinking. Ask yourself this question: “What is my next thought going to be?” and then wait. Focus all of your attention on the arrival of your next thought and nothing else. It may take anywhere from a few seconds to a minute or more before you experience your next thought. However long it takes that’s okay. You just pressed your mind’s reset button and it might take a little while to boot back up so to speak. Notice any difference in your thoughts? Now concentrate on your empowering thoughts or the “feel good” thoughts. The power of the right words flowing from your mouth as a result of your empowering thoughts automatically attracts toward you the reality that you truly desire to manifest.

It takes time, patience and practice to become proficient in mastering your thoughts but it’s worth it and you’re definitely worth it. Besides you’ll enhance your well being by being the best you can be.

To your continued prosperity,

Mike Manjin

About The Author

Mike Manjin presents advice on self improvement and personal fullfillment. To discover more about powerful success principles please visit http://www.lifeprosper.com or for more information email him at mmanjin@lifealteringprinciples.com.

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2006-11-14T04:22:00.000-08:00

Holiday Stress Hotspots: Manage Stress with Knowledge
by: Simma Lieberman

There are four main causes of holiday stress: gift giving obligations, expenses, a lack of time, and unrealistic expectations about creating a perfect holiday. To reduce holiday stress, arm yourself with knowledge. Know the ins and outs of these top four holiday stress hotspots and follow these effective stress-reducing tips:

Holiday Stress Hotspot #1: Gifts

* Make a list of everyone you need to buy gifts for.

* Look for gifts you can buy for multiple people. Similarly, look for stores where you can buy many gifts for a lot of people.

* Plan a few back-up gifts, generic gifts with blank cards for people you might forget or who unexpectedly give you a gift.

* Focus on the point of gift giving: showing your appreciation for someone. Enjoy the process of finding them something they'll like.

* If you don't like shopping, plan a single gift shopping day. Make this day sooner than later to avoid the holiday shopping craze.

* Or, don't go shopping. Thanks to the internet and catalogues, there is enough time to order gifts so you don't have to leave your house or office.

* Better yet, take off the whole month of December and go to the mountains where no one can call, email or page you.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #2: Holiday Expenses

* Set a budget, and stick to it. Don't buy gifts that you'll spend the rest of the year trying to pay off.

* Think of alternative ways to give gifts (set up a gift exchange, make some handmade gifts or foodstuffs).

* Choose inexpensive ways of entertaining and enjoying. Have a potluck party instead of providing all the food yourself.

* Do activities with family and friends that cost little or no money: go on walks, have a movie night instead of going to see the latest blockbuster together.

* Give the gift of a phone call or note. Let the people you care about know how important they are to you with words, not expensive gifts. Most people need this type of nourishment in general and may need it even more during the holidays. It may be the best gift they get.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #3: A Lack of Time

* Complete your gift shopping early. This will relieve you of one of the biggest time stresses during the holidays.

* Refuse Invitations. You don't have to go to every party you're invited to. If party going becomes a chore or exhausting, step back and slow down the pace.

* Take time for yourself. With so much emphasis on time with family and friends, many people feel guilty taking time for themselves. Take it. When you consciously plan to have alone time, it keeps you empowered and reduces possible feelings of melancholy during the holiday season. You will also be also be less overwhelmed by external stimuli.

* Share the tasks. Don't take on too much. View your to-do list as an opportunity to spend time with people.

* Share responsibilities and your tasks will take half as long and be more enjoyable.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #4: Anticipation and Expectations

* Be realistic. Just because it's the holidays, family issues will not suddenly disappear and everything will not be perfect.

* Adjust your expectations. Expect a few bumps in the road at family events and gatherings and you'll be better able to deal with them.

* Relish Traditions. Focus on those little traditions that make evoke positive memories for the holidays: songs, events, rituals, etc. Consider creating new traditions if older ones are marred with mixed memories.

About The Author

Simma Lieberman helps organizations create environments where people can do their best work and be successful. She specializes in Diversity and Inclusion, Diversity Dialogues, and Eliminating Fear and Self-doubt. Simma is the co-author with Kate Berardo and George Simons of the book "Putting Diversity to Work." She can be reached at http://www.simmalieberman.com.

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2006-11-13T03:21:00.000-08:00

What To Do When You Feel Stuck In A Life You Don’t Love
by: Melissa Quiter

When you read the title of this article, did you immediately think, “That is me?” Does your life feel like you have two legs submerged in a pit of quicksand and the more you push and pull and attempt to “get out,” the more submerged you get and the more tired you feel?

You are not alone. In fact, the next thing I tell you may sound less than inspiring. But read on, as you will soon find, the most challenging truths are actually the greatest opportunities for amazing joy.

The truth is that humans are destined to feel stuck at various points in their lives. There is no way to avoid it and no way to ignore it. Feeling stuck is an absolute given condition of human beings.

So, you may be asking, “Why is being stuck a given?” It is because humans are always growing, always changing and always evolving. There is never a moment when your body, mind or spirit stops recreating itself. Humans are always desiring (wanting something) — even if it is simply a breath of air. When you achieve a goal you have strived toward for years, that goal ceases to be a goal the minute it is attained. And just like you don’t get rid of bad thoughts or bad habits — you replace them with better thoughts or better behaviors — what you desire is constantly being replaced by what you desire next. This doesn’t mean you are not momentarily happy with where you are. However, your mind seeks expansion. There is only so long that humans can stay satisfied with where they are before new desires pop into their heads. Desiring is what continually evolves the universe and the human spirit.

Another thing to be aware of is that you have multiple areas of your life that are happening simultaneously. I call these the Nine Environments of Holistic Living. In each of these environments you have different goals and different intentions. You may be focused heavily on one or two areas, and after achieving amazing things in those areas, “suddenly” become aware of another area that is lacking in some way. You are now focusing on that neglected area. Regardless of how satisfied you are in the other areas, the neglected area, you are now focused on, feels stagnate and stuck. For example, a person who achieves a long-worked-for goal in her career may then shift her focus to relationships and feel stuck in a bad relationship or stuck in not having a relationship. It doesn’t take away from her career achievements, but the feeling is still there because the focus has shifted.

The feeling of being stuck is simply you telling yourself that there is more that you desire in a given area or areas. The frustration of being stuck, and what may create negative emotions around it, is often caused when you aren’t sure how to make the changes you want to get unstuck. Thus, being stuck may create a panic inside of you that the situation will never change. The degree to which you feel the stuck-ness and how quickly you respond to this feeling often determines how being stuck affects you.

First, I think it useful to define what being stuck really means. Being stuck may not mean what you think it means, which can be what makes being stuck feel so hopeless and frustrating. Being stuck is not a destination. It is not a life sentence. It is also does not define who you are, just where you are at any given moment. Being stuck is simply a notification — a sign if you will — that it is time to start making something new and different happen in your life. When you are feeling stuck, it is simply another part of you tapping you on the proverbial shoulder saying, “Hey, I am no longer satisfied with where I am or what I have in a particular area and I need something else.”

Just like if you have ever driven a car and you stop at a red light. When the light turns green, that is your sign to get moving. Being stuck is a simply a green light — a sign saying, it is time to get moving. The key is knowing how to get moving. This is where being stuck can feel like a horrible condition, a limiting circumstance and a trap. If you don’t know that pushing on the gas pedal will get you moving in your car, you can’t move. If your car is in the wrong gear, you can’t move. And if you resist that the light is green, you cannot move. If you resist that you feel stuck (which means you don’t welcome the emotion, but instead get caught up in the feelings of being trapped and hampered), you actually put your focus on the being stuck, instead of your focus on the sign to get moving. If you embrace that the sign is there, you then have the freedom to explore the options for how to get moving. When you have the freedom to explore, you can usually create change pretty quickly.

This may sound a bit confusing, so let me be as clear as possible given this is a critical piece for allowing yourself to get unstuck. By acknowledging that you are in a place you don’t want to be, but not delving into the emotions of being there, you free up your energy to focus on where you do want to be. You free up your energy to focus on what you do want, not what you don’t want. This is the foundation of the Law of Attraction, which says that which you focus your energy on is what you attract to you — wanted or unwanted. Learning to use being stuck as a positive sign that you are desiring more, opens you up to asking how to get it, instead of delving into the emotions of being where you don’t want to be, and fearing you are always going to be there.

No matter what question you ask yourself, you will get an answer. If you ask yourself — Why am I stuck here? What did I do to deserve this? Why does this always happen to me? Am I going to be here forever? — you will get an answer. And, most likely, you will get an answer that won’t assist you in pushing on your gas pedal or figuring out you are in the wrong gear. If you ask empowering questions, like — What do I want that I don’t have? How can I get it? What have I been doing and what can I do differently? — you begin focusing on answers that will propel you forward.

Getting unstuck can be an easy and smooth process. The key is using the proper tools to assist you. Using tools — questions, exercises, programs, processes, other people, etc. — is the number one way for re-directing your focus. Tools are how humans create in the universe. Learning and using the tools of notes and instruments are what allow you to make music. Learning and using hammers, nails and engineering are what allow you to construct buildings. Learning and using the alphabet, grammar and paper or computers are what allow you to write novels and poetry. Getting unstuck, changing your life, manifesting your desires is done by learning and using the natural tools of creating — the Law of Attraction, the Nine Environments of Holistic Living, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the Process of Deliberate Creation, the Prosperity Process, the Power of Intention, the Universal Laws, Law of Attraction Coaches, Messages from Abraham or Seth, etc.

No one has to stay stuck. No one has to live a life they don’t love. It is simply recognizing the sign that it is time to make a change. Then, assessing what tools will assist in making that change, and beginning the process. Embrace the feeling of being stuck so you can get moving, seek out the tools you need and start today.

Here is to your freedom!

Copyright 2005 Melissa Quiter

About The Author

Melissa Jean Quiter is an inspirational life and business strategist with Provocative Communications. She is the author of the 4-phase, life and business-changing program, “Being Spiritual Doesn’t Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness,” based on the Law of Attraction and the three required elements (the universal laws, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Nine Environments of Holistic Living) to ensure your success 100% of the time. To get started, visit: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/takingcontrol.html . Melissa also teaches a simple, yet profound, daily process for deliberately creating your life in her book, “My cat made me a millionaire… (and how yours can too!),” available here: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/cat.html . E-mail: Quiter@Texas.net or call: [512] 341-0556.

2006-11-09T04:05:00.000-08:00

Sleep On It!
by: Michael A. Verdicchio

What do you think about before you go to sleep? Does it really matter? What you think about could be very beneficial and profitable to your life. While your conscious mind takes a break as you sleep, your subconscious mind actually stays very active. Because of this, the thoughts that you think about before you drift off to sleep are vitally important.

Many people end their day by watching the news, which is usually negative and depressing. When they go to sleep after pouring all that junk into their minds, they are basically saying, "Okay subconscious mind, work on all that stuff." And people wonder why they wake up depressed, negative, and with no ambition for the new day ahead?

Your subconscious mind is at work day and night, including throughout your slumber. Have you ever heard the expression, "I'm going to sleep on it?" I remember watching a movie and when faced with a problem, the main character said, "I'll sort it out in the morning." Many times after "sleeping on it," a person wakes up with a solution, or at least, a direction in which to proceed.

One day, a man had diligently worked for hours towards a solution to a problem, yet still knew that there was something missing. He went to sleep, still trying to grasp that missing piece. His thoughts before he fell asleep were focused on unearthing the solution. He said the next morning he suddenly woke up feeling "the greatest excitement." In a short amount of time thereafter, Albert Einstein wrote his first draft of a new article - a full thirty pages. It was the start to his theory of relativity.

There are a lot of people who wake up right before their alarm goes off. Does that happen to you? Is it just a habit, or, before falling asleep, do you consciously think about what time you want to get up? I think it is the latter.

Personally, the only time I use an alarm clock is when I need to get up much earlier than usual. However, every time, it seems like I still wake up before the alarm goes off. Before falling asleep, I was very aware that I needed to get up early…and the next morning, my subconscious mind stepped in, telling me it was 4:30.

Why not tell your subconscious mind some really positive things before you nod off to sleep? Things like, "I am going to wake up happy and refreshed," or "I am going to get some good, peaceful sleep and tomorrow I will get a lot done," are some excellent examples.

There are many programs that suggest doing your affirmations right before you go to sleep. Some recommend reviewing your goals at that time. The Bible talks about not going to sleep angry. Why? Because the Creator designed the brain and He knows that it's not beneficial to you.

Here's something to try. Take note of what kind of mood you are in as you go to sleep. Emotions are a product of your thoughts. Change your thinking so that you don't allow yourself to fall asleep in a doubtful mood, or in a depressed mood, or in an angry mood.

If you fall asleep in a negative mood, you are impeding the work that your subconscious mind could be doing for you while you sleep. You are losing ground and also losing precious time.

Whether it is your affirmations, or goals, or something you are working on and trying to solve, take careful note of what you are thinking about right before you fall asleep. Your subconscious mind is going to be working all night on something anyway, so why not give it something profitable?

Successful people develop successful habits - it just doesn't happen automatically. You can take charge of your life in so many little seemingly insignificant steps. However, some of these "little" things will reap enormously profitable dividends in your life.

So have a sweet, peaceful, productive sleep!

About The Author

Michael A. Verdicchio is a husband, father, minister, and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years. Michael is the author and producer of “Inspirational Pep Talks”, available at http://www.InspirationalPepTalks.com.

He has a free newsletter called, THE PEP LETTER, at http://www.christianinspirationalgifts.com/pepletter.html

2006-11-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Beat Stress Now! 10 Easy Tips
by: Colleen Kettenhofen

"Never complain about your troubles; they are responsible for more than half of your income." Robert R. Updegraff

Everyone's busy. Today many of us feel added pressure with fax machines, cell phones, kids and co-workers. The average worker fields 52 phone calls, 36 emails and 23 voice mails a day. And, the holidays and the stress that sometimes comes with it are fast approaching. Here are 10 quick and easy tips for managing stress. Please feel free to share them with your friends and colleagues.

1) Focus on your strengths not on your weaknesses. Perfectionists take note: the average American is 32 years old, married, laughs 15 times a day, and has 27 trillion fat cells. Nobody's perfect. Beat stress by going easy on yourself. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Don't obsess over your weaknesses because perfectionism often leads to procrastination.

2) Get up in the morning 30 minutes earlier.Start your day with solitude and more clarity by rising a half hour earlier than those in your household. Spend quiet time journaling, praying or meditating. Just begin by writing your thoughts, dreams, goals and fears. Start thinking about how to organize your day.

3) Break the worry habit. 95% of what you worry about never happens. Ask yourself, "Even if the worst happened, what could I learn from this experience?" Have a plan B just in case.

4) Spend time outdoors and out in nature. Especially in fall and winter when the days get shorter, it's important to spend time outdoors every day in the natural daylight. Even if it's gray and overcast, research shows that time spent in daylight, especially in the morning, helps reduce Seasonal Affect Disorder or "SAD." Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, I can actually notice a positive shift in my mood and that of others when late spring arrives and it's light until 8:45 p.m.

5) Remember the formula E + R = 0. Event + (your) Reaction = Outcome. You can't always controls the events or outside circumstances around you, but you CAN control how you react. This isn't a new concept, but sometimes we need to be reminded of it. Most of us spend more time worrying about the things outside of our control. I conducted a speaking engagement recently in Seattle on "Dealing with Difficult People." I reminded everyone of the importance that their response plays in determining their outcomes.

6) Laughter is a serious business! Laugh to reduce stress. It's a well-known fact that laughter helps reduce stress and build the immune system. Laughter IS the best medicine. It gets those endorphins or "feel-good" hormones into the brain and elevates your mood.

7) Don't overreact when dealing with difficult people - especially antagonists. Antagonists, otherwise known as "pot stirrers," often have a desire for dissention. They're looking to purposely rattle your cage, ruffle your feathers, and get you to say something you'll regret. As Zig Ziglar once said, "No one can get your goat if they don't know where it's tied up."

8) Reward yourself for a job well done. Indulge in a massage, manicure or pedicure. Recently I had the glorious pleasure of staying at the Phoenician hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. Splurging on an hour-plus massage worked wonders! Not to mention laying out by the pool enjoying the beautiful desert scenery of Camelback Mountain, and later, Sedona.

9) Check your adult at the door. Act like a kid again! Play, run, engage in a favorite sport or hobby like golf, tennis, or hanging out with your children at the park. Make sure to have a date night with your spouse or significant other. Take a day off and play at the beach doing something you haven't done in years like playing Frisbee or building sand castles.

10) Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. List 10 things you're grateful to have in your life. Revisit and appreciate the simplest of pleasures. Sip your favorite cup of gourmet coffee. Sit outside in the springtime in the garden of a friend's house. Enjoy sunset on the coast. Appreciate the feeling of being more energized after a workout. Be grateful for your health.

Decide today to make a commitment to do one activity that will reduce stress and maximize success. Do it now. What you do in the present determines your future. Enjoy!

Copyright (c) 2006 Colleen Kettenhofen

About The Author

Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert and co-author of The Masters of Success, as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield.For more free articles and e-newsletter, visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Most popular topics: leadership, management skills, public speaking, dealing with difficult people. Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars by calling (971)212-2412.

http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com

2006-11-07T04:07:00.000-08:00

A New Approach to Self-Improvement
by: Tammy Pratt

Are you frustrated with your business growth? Maybe you are focusing too much energy on improving on your weaknesses and not enough on your strengths. You made a list of your of your strengths and weaknesses. So naturally you focus on the weaknesses because you already have a good foundation from your strengths. You buy books, read articles, make a list of daily actions steps to improve those weaker areas in your business/personal growth. You set a goal and begin your journey down the road of improving on the weak areas of your life. What happens next? You find that improvement is slow or even futile. You don’t enjoy the time you spend working on your weakest links and you quit! Now you are discouraged and less likely to try again.

Let’s try another approach. What do you think would happen if you spent your time and energy focusing on your strengths? Yes, make your strengths even better. Let’s face it, your strengths are not perfect and there is always room for improvement. If you are good in the area of customer service, spend some time evaluating why that particular area is one of your strengths. Look for ways to improve and take action! You will be more motivated to stick with your plan of action and you will enjoy working your plan much more than when you focused on weaknesses. As you take daily action, you will see progress much sooner. Working on your strengths will help you develop healthy new habits, drop some old bad habits, and give you a positive new attitude.

What will be the outcome of this new approach to self improvement? You will be operating within your strengths. You will be happier with what you do, be more motivated to keep moving up and more enthusiastic about what you do. Improving on your strengths is a much more productive activity and it will make you better at what you do much quicker. Who knows you just might become the top income earner in your organization, get that promotion, or have a more successful business of your own.

About The Author

Tammy Pratt has been a stay-at-home mom since 1999 and started her first home based business in 2005. Learn more about her business at www.mynewjobathome.com.

2006-11-06T03:59:00.000-08:00

The Freedom of Saying “No”
by: Gail Solish

We live in a fast paced world and often we believe that the way to get ahead is to take on more and more. The price we pay for doing “more” or too much is feeling overwhelmed and out of balance. “NO” is just a simple two letter word. Yet it is often the hardest word to say. The challenge is to set limits and boundaries for ourselves which requires us to learn how to say “no”. Why is this so difficult? Some of the reasons we may have trouble saying “no,” are because we want to be liked, may be afraid that others would get angry or upset, or perhaps we may have been taught to always be agreeable and give others what they want. Women in particular often have been conditioned to say yes to all requests.

Whatever the reason, there are consequences of our inability to say no. We might feel that people are constantly taking advantage of us. We could experience feelings of being overwhelmed, angry, irritable or resentful. Our bodies could be experiencing constant fatigue, tension, headaches or various other aches and pains. Our behaviors with others might be more abrupt, bordering on rude and we probably would be doing less of the things that we enjoy.

One client I worked with was very accommodating and took on every thing she was asked to do at work. She began to notice that she was doing a lot of tasks that really were not her job but rather the responsibility of others. She became resentful and angry but did not know how to get out of the situation.

Another good natured individual was always willing to give a helping hand to her friends, family, colleagues and community. She sat on numerous committees, baked for fundraising events and was seen as someone you could always count on. She enjoyed this picture of herself. However she had less time for herself and her family. She would stay up late to finish all the tasks she had agreed to, didn’t get enough sleep and was impatient with her husband and children. At work she was short tempered with her staff and it actually took her longer to accomplish less.

Not being able to set appropriate boundaries and limits for ourselves can ultimately lead to all kinds of difficulties. It is important to fully understand what is being asked of you, prior to making a decision. If we make assumptions before we have all the facts it can negatively impact our ability to complete a project. Keep all projects manageable, it is less stressful and the outcome is more successful.

So let’s look at some creative ways of say "no".

* "Can I get back to you on that?" This allows you the opportunity to think about whether you actually want to do it.”

* "I’m sorry I’m unable to take on any new projects for the next 3-4 weeks."

* "Why don’t you ask (name) to do that as I won’t be able to get to it."

* "I can’t do it right now, why do0n’t you ask me again later and perhaps I’ll have time."

* "I can do this part, but you’ll have to find someone else to do the rest."

* Just say "no" without any explanation.

Notice the people around you who are able to say "no" and how they say it. Perhaps some of their strategies could work for you. Trying something different takes practice so say no to something every day, so that you begin to get comfortable with the word.

About The Author
Gail Solish, MSW, RSW provides Executive/Personal coaching to managers, directors and executives focused on workplace development and relationship management. Claim your FR-EE e-course "Unleash Your Potential and Increase Productivity and Fulfillment" at http://www.ActualizeYourGoals.com or contact Gail at 416-322-0029.

Copyright 2006, Gail Solish. All rights reserved.

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2006-11-05T04:42:00.000-08:00

A Positive Attitude Can Lead To Success And A Longer Life.
by: Edward W. Smith

Researchers have now established what motivational experts such as myself have been teaching for years; having a positive attitude is so powerful that it can even extend your life. Wealth and success generally go with a positive attitude as well.

The Ohio Longitudinal Study Of Aging and Retirement, a 20-year study of people that were 50 years or older found that our attitude about aging affected how long we lived. The study showed that people that had a more positive view about aging lived an average of 7.8 years longer than those than those who did not hold positive views about aging.

Obviously many factors beyond attitude affect our life span, but since the study covered 1,157 people, a number of these other factors were balanced out.

So if our attitude about ageing can affect our bodies to some extent, what else can a positive attitude affect?

The short answer is almost everything. Hence the old saying “attitude is everything”.

So what would you like to affect in your life? Your income, your health, your happiness, what? Make a list of things you would like to affect, but keep the list to less than seven items, so you can focus on them. Next, do some serious soul searching about the attitude you really have in these areas. Check with others to see what they say your attitude in those areas as a reality check on what you believe. Also check to see if your actions match what you think your attitude is. If you have to choose between what you think is your attitude and actions that don’t match it, go with actions as the guide to your attitude, since they show where you are really at.

Now study your attitude in each area to see if it is productive for you given your goal. Write out the attitude you want to have in each area that needs change and turn the attitude you want into an affirmation. For instance if you want to have an attitude that it is okay to be rich, you could start repeating the sentence “I am a person that thinks it is okay to be rich” several times each day. Affirmations are very powerful ways to change your attitude about something in a relatively short time.

It is helpful if you can enlist the aid of your friends in your effort to change to more productive attitudes. Tell your friends of you effort to change your attitude and ask them to let you know when you show signs of moving in that direction. This will build your morale and self esteem and speed the change process. On a personal note, I find that people know me as a motivational expert and as such they always expect me to be “up” and positive. People are quick to note when I am not in the mood they expect and I am able to adjust my attitude back to where it should be. I tell my audiences that one of the curses of being a motivational speaker is that you are never allowed to be in a bad mood.

I was so impressed with the power of our attitude, that I included this passage in my book Sixty Seconds To Success:

“Be your own fortune-teller and predict good things for yourself. Here is a trick that fortune-tellers use to predict someone’s future that you can use on yourself. Fortune -tellers quickly get a sense of what a person is thinking-are they positive or negative. Then they can project what will happen given that type of thinking. You can do this for yourself. If you are positive, good things are going to happen to you: if you are pessimistic, things are going to go badly for you.

If you want to predict a good fortune for yourself, act positive, think positive, etc., and the world will be yours. Always be positive about yourself when you talk. If you’re negative, it causes others to lose faith in you; you also lose faith in yourself. Always be positive in your speech, regardless of whether someone else is around, as you are the most important that will hear it.

Remember, your attitude is contagious to others as well as to yourself, so predict good fortune for yourself and others and it will come true.”

So we have learned that our attitude in a very powerful thing. This force can work for or against you. I urge you to make it a positive force in your life and from this moment on, choose to focus on the positive in your life. Life goes on regardless of our attitude, but your attitude can make you go on a bit longer as well.

About The Author
Edward W. Smith is the author of Sixty Seconds To Success, he produces and hosts the Bright Moment cable TV and internet radio show, is president of the Bright Moment Seminars, is a motivational speaker, and publishes the free, daily, email of the One Minute Motivator (quick peak performance tip). His website is http://www.brightmoment.com and his email is edsmith@brightmoment.com.

2006-11-04T03:24:00.000-08:00

You Can't Change Your Life Today
by: Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD

I find it amusing how many people, programs, and books are out there today that promise to change your life in a second, a minute or as long as a day. Although intriguing as it may sound, changing your life isn't going to happen in a flash. Change takes time, and usually more time than you ever imagined. The good news is that you can change your life; it just isn't going to happen right this moment.

I agree that circumstances can change in an instance. We all have had events that have redirected the course of our lives. However, the change that occurs because of these events is a process that unfolds over time. Those life-changing events actually don't change our lives; they simply create an opportunity for change. When the status quo is challenged, there is an opening for change to occur. Kurt Lewin created a three-step change process that explains how this works. The first step in change is "Unfreezing." This step can happen by an unexpected change like a death or a divorce, or it can be planned. This step happens when the status quo is challenged and a decision is made to change it. After the change process is in motion, the next step is to "Change." Changing requires doing things differently and creating new habits. You absolutely cannot change and stay the same. Change requires things to be done differently. Once the change is in place, the new situation needs to be "Refrozen." This is done so that the change can be integrated over time and that one will not be tempted to revert to the old ways. Change is a process, and it doesn't happen in a day. It happens over time.

Change takes time is actually the good news. Most of us need time to ease into change. Change, even when we want it, can be challenging and a tad frightening. By creating a process where change can happen there is a better chance the change will be assimilated.

If you are waiting for the moment when your life changes in a flash, my guess is you will be waiting for a long time. However, if you are willing to create an opportunity for change or seize an opportunity, the chances for change are great. The first step in change is to make a decision to change, to move from the familiar to the unknown. That's not as easy as it may sound. This takes time and preparation.

When I decided to change to a healthier lifestyle it took me several weeks to weed out my pantry, read up on what that meant exactly, and to create the resolve to do it. Once I created the opening for change, I began working on the change itself. Although I have been working on this for almost a year, I am still not in the "refreezing" stage. I am still in the change process. Once I reach my goals, I will then begin the process of maintenance, where the change will become a lifetime habit. I have no idea how long this will take, but I am willing to take as long as necessary.

Being committed to the change and the time that it takes is necessary and fundamental to a successful change. So don't worry that your life won't change today. Make a commitment to begin the change process today, and the change you want will happen. It will just take some time.

About The Author
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD, is the publisher of the award winning e-zine, 365 Days of Coaching. Her first book, 365 Days of Coaching – Because Life Happens Every Day (Universal Publisher, 2004) was named a finalist for Best Book 2004 by Publish.com and has a five star rating on Amazon.com. Visit Coach Lee at her websites http://coachlee.com and http://365daysofcoaching.com. True Direction, Inc. Copyright

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2006-11-03T01:33:00.000-08:00

Secret Success Strategy
by: Sharif Khan

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain

FOCUS + FEELING + ACTION = ATTRACTION

While I don’t believe in pat formulas for success, I’d like to share some ingredients for attracting more of what we want in life. It goes like this: whatever we FOCUS on, FEEL, and ACT on, we ATTRACT. Call it ‘a recipe for success’ if you will. (Not "THE" recipe, but "A" recipe). If any of these ingredients are missing, there’s less chance of manifesting what you want.

If you have the mental focus (i.e. you write down your goals/objectives, put them in a visible place, say your daily mantras/affirmations) but lack the feeling of what it would actually be like to accomplish your goal, you can say your affirmations till your blue in the face and nothing would happen.

Likewise if you have powerful feelings and are doing lots of activity but are lacking focus and direction, you will burn out fast without accomplishing much. In fact, if you’re focus is misplaced, you could end up courting disaster. Take a look at professional race car driving. Some of the deadliest accidents occur right when drivers are rounding the curve. Some of the inexperienced drivers, as they are rounding the curve, will stay visually focused on the curve they are trying to clear. And guess what happens? You got it…they end up smashing right into the curve! More experienced professionals will immediately shift their focus in the opposite direction of the curve and thus get past it. Are you focusing on your problems or solutions?

If you have the focus and feeling down pat (your doing your mantras, writing your goals, developed your plan, are experiencing passionate feelings of reaching your desired objective) but are not taking daily and consistent action towards your goal, again you will always be coming just short of your desired outcome.

There are some extras that I’d like to add. If after you’ve done everything humanly possible, you place your FAITH and trust in the natural process that creates all things, and stop worrying and fretting, you will attract more of what you want in abundance. Think about it, would you plant a flower seed in the soil, and after a week of waiting, watering, and giving it lots of love and sunshine, dig it up and yell, "WHY AREN’T YOU GROWING! YOU’RE USELESS!"? Well, isn’t that what we do with our own dreams sometimes?

Finally, if you add the HERO ingredient of SERVING others, of reaching your dreams by also helping others and creating value for other people, you will live a much more fulfilling life. We can certainly attract the stuff we want in life, but without giving back to the community or helping others along the way, we can often be left with a shallow, empty feeling inside.

About The Author

Sharif Khan (http://www.herosoul.com; sharif@herosoul.com) is a copywriter and communications specialist, inspirational keynote speaker, and author of the leadership bestseller, "Psychology of the Hero Soul." He publishes his monthly Hero Soul ezine for cutting-edge advice on personal growth.

2006-11-02T03:38:00.000-08:00

9 secrets Mark Twain taught me about advertising
By:Alex A. Kecskes

Whether he knew it or not, Sam Clemens had quite a bit to say about
advertising. Here, among his many notable quotes, you’ll discover 9
refreshingly incisive nuggets of wisdom that can help you create stronger,
more compelling ads. Here are 9 refreshingly incisive nuggets of wisdom
from Sam Clemens to can help you create stronger, more compelling ads.

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

Advertising is life made to look larger than life, through images and
words that promise a wish fulfilled, a dream come true, a problem
solved. Even Viagra follows Mark Twain’s keen observation about advertising.
The worst kind of advertising exaggerates to get your attention, the
best, gets your attention without exaggeration. It simply states a fact
or reveals an emotional need, then lets you make the leap from “small
to large.” Examples of the worst: before-and-after photos for weight
loss products and cosmetic surgery—both descend to almost comic disbelief.
The best: Apple’s "silhouette" campaign for iPod and the breakthrough
ads featuring Eminem—both catapult iPod to “instant cool” status.

“When in doubt, tell the truth.”

Today’s advertising is full of gimmicks. They relentlessly hang on to a
product like a ball and chain, keeping it from moving swiftly ahead of
the competition, preventing any real communication of benefits or
impetus to buy. The thinking is, if the gimmick is outrageous or silly
enough, it’s got to at least get their attention. Local car dealer ads are
probably the worst offenders--using zoo animals, sledgehammers, clowns,
bikini-clad models, anything unrelated to the product’s real benefit.
If the people who thought up these outrageous gimmicks spent half their
energy just sticking to the product’s real benefits and buying
motivators, they’d have a great ad. What they don’t realize is, they already
have a lot to work with without resorting to gimmicks. There’s the
product with all its benefits, the brand, which undoubtedly they’ve spent
money to promote, the competition and its weaknesses, and two powerful
buying motivators—fear of loss and promise of gain. In other words, all
you really have to do is tell the truth about your product and be honest
about your customers’ wants and needs. Of course, sometimes that’s not
so easy. You have to do some digging to find out what you customers
really want, what your competition has to offer them, and why your
product is better.

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”

In advertising, you have to be very careful how you use facts. As any
politician will tell you, facts are scary things. They have no
stretch, no pliability, no room for misinterpretation. They’re indisputable.
And used correctly, very powerful. But statistics, now there’s
something advertisers and politicians love. “Nine out of ten doctors
recommend Preparation J.” Who can dispute that? Or “Five out of six dentists
recommend Sunshine Gum.” Makes me want to run out and buy a pack of
Sunshine right now. Hold it. Rewind.

“Whenever you find you’re on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.”

Let’s take a look at how these stats—this apparent majority—might have
come to be. First off, how many doctors did they ask before they found
nine out of ten to agree that Preparation J did the job? 1,000? 10,000?
And how many dentists hated the idea of their patients chewing gum but
relented, saying, “Most chewing gum has sugar and other ingredients,
that rot out your teeth, but if the guy’s gotta chew the darn stuff, it
may as well be Sunshine, which has less sugar in it.” The point is,
stats can be manipulated to say almost anything. And yes, the devil’s in
the details. The fact is, there’s usually a 5% chance you can get any
kind of result simply by accident. And because many statistical studies
are biased and not “double blind” (both subject and doctor don’t know
who was given the test product and who got the placebo). Worst of all,
statistics usually need the endless buttressing of legal disclaimers. If
you don’t believe me, try to read the full-page of legally mandated
warnings for that weight- loss pill you’ve been taking. Bottom line:
stick to facts. Then back them up with sound selling arguments that
address the needs of your customer.

“The difference between the right word and almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

To write really effective ad copy means choosing exactly the right word
at the right time. You want to lead your customer to every benefit
your product has to offer, and you want to shed the best light on every
benefit. It also means you don’t want to give them any reason or
opportunity to wander away from your argument. If they wander, you’re
history. They’re off to the next page, another TV channel or a new website.
So make every word say exactly what you mean it to say, no more, no
less. Example: if a product is new, don’t be afraid to say “new” (a product
is only new once in its life, so exploit the fact).

“Great people make us feel we can become great.”

And so do great ads. While they can’t convince us we’ll become
millionaires, be as famous as Madonna, or as likeable as Tom Cruise, they make
us feel we might be as attractive, famous, wealthy, or admired as we’d
like to think we can be. Because there’s a “Little Engine That Could”
in all of us that says, under the right conditions, we could beat the
odds and catch the brass ring, win the lottery, or sell that book we’ve
been working on. Great advertising taps into that belief without going
overboard. An effective ad promoting the lottery once used pictures of
people sitting on an exotic beach with little beach umbrellas in their
cocktails (a perfectly realistic image for the average person) with the
line: Somebody’s has to win, may as well be you.”

“The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.”

We’re all part of the same family of creatures called homo sapiens. We
each want to be admired, respected and loved. We want to feel secure
in our lives and our jobs. So create ads that touch the soul. Use an
emotional appeal in your visual, headline and copy. Even humor, used
correctly, can be a powerful tool that connects you to your potential
customer. It doesn’t matter if you’re selling shoes or software, people will
always respond to what you have to sell them on an emotional level.
Once they’ve made the decision to buy, the justification process kicks in
to confirm the decision. To put it another way, once they’re convinced
you’re a mensche with real feelings for their hopes and wants as well
as their problems, they’ll go from prospect to customer.

“A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.”

Ain’t it the truth. More money, more clothes, fancier car, bigger
house. It’s what advertising feeds on. “You need this. And you need more
of it every day.” It’s the universal mantra that drives consumption to
the limits of our charge cards. So, how to tap into this insatiable
appetite for more stuff? Convince buyers that more is better. Colgate
offers 20% more toothpaste in the giant economy size. You get 60 more
sheets with the big Charmin roll of toilet paper. GE light bulbs are 15%
brighter. Raisin Brain now has 25% more raisins. When Detroit found
it couldn’t sell more cars per household to an already saturated U.S.
market, they started selling more car per car—SUVs and trucks got bigger
and more powerful. They’re still selling giant 3-ton SUVs that get 15
miles per gallon.

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

Who gets the girl? Who attracts the sharpest guy? Who lands the big
promotion? Neiman Marcus knows. So does Abercrombie & Fitch. And Saks
Fifth Avenue. Why else would you fork over $900 for a power suit? Or
$600 for a pair of shoes? Observers from Aristotle to the twentieth
century have consistently maintained that character is immanent in
appearance, asserting that clothes reveal a rich palette of interior qualities
as well as a brand mark of social identity. Here’s where the right
advertising pays for itself big time. Where you must have the perfect model
(not necessarily the most attractive) and really creative photographers
and directors who know how to tell a story, create a mood, convince you
that you’re not buying the “emperor’s clothes.” Example of good fashion
advertising: the Levis black-and-white spot featuring a teenager
driving through the side streets and alleys of the Czech Republic. Stopping
to pick up friends, he gets out of the car wearing just a shirt as the
voiceover cheekily exclaims, "Reason 007: In Prague, you can trade them
for a car."

About The Author :
Alex A. Kecskes
ak creativeworks combines strategic marketing and
high-impact creative for ads, brochures, mailers, articles, scripts, web
content and more…
Contact Information visit www.akcreativeworks.com

2006-11-01T06:30:00.000-08:00

Questions to Ask Potential Clients And/Or Employers

by Steve Amoia

Here are a few general questions that may help you learn more about a potential client or employer. Most of these are targeted for a potential employer; however, others may assist you to evaluate a

client/subcontractor situation. Some of these queries

will be answered during your interview. When asked if you have any questions, you must demonstrate a sincere interest in their operations. Stand out from the others who only care about salary and benefits. Show your value by the quality of your questions.

You may not need to use all of these; consequently, you should develop targeted queries that are job-specific. I have provided a few for writers (#9 and #10) at the bottom of this page as examples. Hopefully, this format will provide you with a good start. This list may also serve as an interview primer, and focus you on meeting the needs of the hiring authority.

Position and Company Background:

1) Why is the position available?

a) How long was the last person in the job, and why did they leave?
b) Do you attempt to fill slots internally?
c) Are you the hiring authority?
d) What is the job's main challenge?

2) How much turnover has there been in the last year, and what is the average tenure here?

a) What has the Sales Trend been for the last three years? Are there any long-term liabilities that might impact growth?
b) Are there any plans for future acquisitions and/or mergers?
c) How many new positions have been created during the last few years?
d) Have there been any layoffs in the last year due to the economic climate? (A sensitive topic, but ask with tact.)
e) Does your firm have a long-range forecast or mission statement?

The Interviewer Is Not Your Adversary. This is not name, rank, and serial number time. Show respect and display genuine interest about their career path and current challenges. They have a problem or opportunity (the unfilled job), and need someone to provide a profitable solution.

3) How long have you been here, and what is your background? What inspired you to become a ____?

a) What other kinds of work have you done in your career?
b) What is the most challenging aspect about your current project/responsibilities? Are there any problems? How could it be made more profitable to the company?
c) What has been your proudest achievement during your tenure here?

4) Organizational Fit:

What type of person does well at your firm, and what are the qualities that you look for in a subordinate?

a) How would you define your company culture, and do you hire talent or specific skill sets?

5) Management and Leadership Style:

Please define your approach to motivating and leading your subordinates. Are you more hands-on in your style, or do you expect your employees to function more independently?

a) Do you criticize or praise in public or private?
b) Do you hire those who have talents that might intimidate you? (Optional. Ask tactfully.)
c) Who had the most influence on your leadership style?
d) Who is your favorite leader from either the past or present?

A Glimpse of Daily Life:

6) Software Tools:

a) What operating systems/platforms are used?
b) What types of software packages are used here?
c) What is the policy on training or learning new applications? Is there formal training, or do you expect people to learn on their own?

7) What would be my initial duties or projects?

a) Would I receive formal training in the product line, or would I learn it on my own?
b) Could you describe a typical day?
c) What immediate problem needs to be solved?

8) Team members:

Could I meet some of your team or others who I would interact with on a daily basis? Do employees here work more independently or in teams?

Targeted Questions:

The following are more specific questions; for example, the type a technical writer might ask:

9) How many writers/editors are in the Documentation unit?
a) Who determines the structure and work environment?
b) Do writers work on the same project simultaneously?
c) What direction would you like to see your unit take?
d) What is on the immediate documentation horizon?

10) What is the flow between Development and Documentation? Is it highly structured, or more personal in nature?

a) How are changes in the programs communicated to the writers?
b) Are there formal specs? If so, who provides them?
c) Is there a QA/Testing department?
d) How often are updates released?
e) When is the product received to document? Pre-alpha, alpha, or after beta testing?
f) Does Development review documentation prior to release?
g) Who signs off on documentation?

About the Author:

Steve Amoia is a freelance writer and also designs personal web pages. He has published articles and book reviews about alternative health, career-related themes, Italian and international soccer, along with martial arts. He also maintains a non-profit web site dedicated to World Football (soccer) that includes an interesting Argentine family connection made possible by the Internet. His writing portfolio, along with the soccer site, may be found at http://www.sanstefano.com, and his email address is info@sanstefano.com.