Thursday

Body Language Secrets You Need to Know
by: Royane Real

Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

Even if you never say a word, your face and body are constantly sending out messages to other people about your state of mind, your happiness, and your level of confidence.

When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say.

And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.

What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

How do you usually stand or sit when you are with other people? What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes?

Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask?

When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think other people interpret this posture? Did you realize that most people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you don’t want anyone to approach you? Only the bravest souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this posture.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They may fear that trying to talk with you will be an awkward experience.

When you stand awkwardly, you do not project any sign that you are confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in the people around you. Instead you look like you are trying to disappear.

No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, it’s not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with you.

If some body language signals can frighten people away, are there signals that will encourage people to come forward and approach you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is open and non-threatening.

Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that is upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up.

Become aware of the way you are breathing. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts?

If you notice that you are holding your breath, or breathing in a shallow, jerky manner, this is a sign of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you have to breathe more often, which can increase your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body to relax. Use your abdomen to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top.

What are you doing with your hands? If you get nervous in social situations, you may feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it’s the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest are probably doing so at least in part because they don’t know where else to put their hands.

You should never cross your arms in front of your chest unless you really don’t want anybody to approach you. That is the message this gesture sends out.

If you want to look open and approachable, keep your arms at your sides, or put one hand in your pocket. If you want to hold something in one hand, keep your hand at the side of your body, and not in front of you. Holding your arm in front of your body can be seen as a signal that you want to defend yourself against other people.

Stay aware of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, you will start to focus too much on your negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can quickly increase your anxiety to a very uncomfortable level.

What sort of facial expression should you have if you want people to approach you?

In most cases, a gentle, pleasant smile should do the trick. Too much of a smile that never softens can look forced and nervous. A pleasant smile with a twinkle in your eyes will convey the impression that chatting with you will be a pleasant experience.

About The Author

This article is taken from the new book by Royane Real titled "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want - Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want a better social life and more friends in your life, download it today at www.royanereal.com.

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Wednesday

Women Hold Up Half the Sky
by: Arthur Buchanan


Women and Mental Health Research

Mental illnesses affect women and men differently. Some disorders are more common in women, and some express themselves with different symptoms. Scientists are only now beginning to tease apart the contribution of various biological and psychosocial factors to mental health and mental illness in both women and men. In addition, researchers are currently studying the special problems of treatment for serious mental illness during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Research on women's health has grown substantially in the last 20 years. Today's studies are helping to clarify the risk and protective factors for mental disorders in women and to improve women's mental health treatment outcome.

Depressive Disorders

In the U.S., nearly twice as many women (12.0 percent) as men (6.6 percent) are affected by a depressive disorder each year.1 These figures translate to 12.4 million women and 6.4 million men. Depressive disorders include major depression, dysthymic disorder (a less severe but more chronic form of depression), and bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness). Major depression is the leading cause of disease burden among females ages 5 and older worldwide.

Depressive disorders raise the risk for suicide. Although men are four times more likely than women to die by suicide, women report attempting suicide about two to three times as often as men. Self-inflicted injury, including suicide, ranks 9th out of the 10 leading causes of disease burden for females ages 5 and older worldwide.

Research shows that before adolescence and late in life, females and males experience depression at about the same frequency. Because the gender difference in depression is not seen until after puberty and decreases after menopause, scientists hypothesize that hormonal factors are involved in women's greater vulnerability. Stress due to psychosocial factors, such as multiple roles in the home and at work and the increased likelihood of women to be poor, at risk for violence and abuse, and raising children alone, also plays a role in the development of depression.

While many women report some history of premenstrual mood changes and physical symptoms, an estimated 3 to 4 percent suffer severe symptoms that significantly interfere with work and social functioning. This impairing form of premenstrual syndrome, also called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), appears to be an abnormal response to normal hormone changes. Researchers are studying what makes some women susceptible to PMDD, including differences in hormone sensitivity, history of other mood disorders, and individual differences in the function of brain chemical messenger systems.

Antidepressant medications known to work via serotonin circuits are effective in relieving the premenstrual symptoms. Women with susceptibility to depression may be more vulnerable to the mood-shifting effects of hormones.

Postpartum depression is a serious disorder where the hormonal changes following childbirth combined with psychosocial stresses such as sleep deprivation may disable some women with an apparent underlying vulnerability. NIMH research is evaluating the use of antidepressant medication and psychosocial interventions following delivery to prevent postpartum depression in women with a history of this disorder.

NIMH researchers recently found that women who suffer depression as they enter the early stages of menopause (perimenopause) may find estrogen to be an alternative to traditional antidepressants. The efficacy of the female hormone was comparable to that usually reported with antidepressants in the first controlled study of its direct effects on mood in perimenopausal women meeting standardized criteria for depression.

Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders, which include panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder, affect an estimated 13.3 percent of Americans ages 18 to 54 in a given year, or about 19.1 million adults in this age group. Women outnumber men in each illness category except for OCD and social phobia, in which both sexes have an equal likelihood of being affected.

Results from an NIMH-supported survey showed that female risk of developing PTSD following trauma is twice that of males. PTSD is characterized by persistent symptoms of fear that occur after experiencing events such as rape or other criminal assault, war, child abuse, natural disasters, or serious accidents. Nightmares, flashbacks, numbing of emotions, depression and feeling angry, irritable, or distracted and being easily startled are common. Females also are more likely to develop long-term PTSD than males and have higher rates of co-occurring medical and psychiatric problems than males with the disorder.

Eating Disorders

Females comprise the vast majority of people with an eating disorder?anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge-eating disorder. In their lifetime, an estimated 0.5 to 3.7 percent of females suffer from anorexia and an estimated 1.1 to 4.2 percent suffer from bulimia. An estimated 2 to 5 percent experience binge-eating disorder in a 6-month period. Eating disorders are not due to a failure of will or behavior; rather, they are real, treatable illnesses. In addition, eating disorders often co-occur with depression, substance abuse, and anxiety disorders, and also cause serious physical health problems. Eating disorders call for a comprehensive treatment plan involving medical care and monitoring, psychotherapy, nutritional counseling, and medication management. Studies are investigating the causes of eating disorders and effectiveness of treatments.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is the most chronic and disabling of the mental disorders, affecting about 1 percent of women and men worldwide. In the U.S., an estimated 2.2 million adults ages 18 and older, about half of them women, have schizophrenia. The illness typically appears earlier in men, usually in their late teens or early 20s, than in women, who are generally affected in their 20s or early 30s. In addition, women may have more depressive symptoms, paranoia, and auditory hallucinations than men and tend to respond better to typical antipsychotic medications. A significant proportion of women with schizophrenia experience increased symptoms during pregnancy and postpartum.

Alzheimer's Disease

The main risk factor for developing Alzheimer's disease (AD), a dementing brain disorder that leads to the loss of mental and physical functioning and eventually to death, is increased age. Studies have shown that while the number of new cases of AD is similar in older adult women and men, the total number of existing cases is somewhat higher among women. Possible explanations include that AD may progress more slowly in women than in men; that women with AD may survive longer than men with AD; and that men, in general, do not live as long as women and die of other causes before AD has a chance to develop. Research is being conducted to find ways to prevent the onset of AD and to slow its progression.

Caregivers of a person with AD are usually family members. Often wives and daughters. The chronic stress often associated with the care-giving role can contribute to mental health problems; indeed, caregivers are much more likely to suffer from depression than the average person is. Since women in general are at greater risk for depression than men are, female caregivers of people with AD may be particularly vulnerable to depression.

About The Author

Arthur Buchanan

Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!
http://freesuccessaudios.com/Artlive.mp3 THIS LINK WORKS, LISTEN TODAY!

With Much Love,
Arthur Buchanan
President/CEO
Out of Darkness & Into the Light
43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012
Huron Ohio, 44839
www.out-of-darkness.com
www.adhdandme.com
www.biologicalhappiness.com
567-219-0994 (cell)
arthur@out-of-darkness.com

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Tuesday

The Simple Secret for Making More Friends
by: Royane Real

When you meet new people for the first time, do you usually like most of the new people that you meet?

Or do you find that you usually dislike new people, unless they can eventually prove after a long time that they deserve your friendship?

Perhaps you have never thought about this before. And you may even wonder if it’s really important. Does it really matter very much if you like most people when you first meet them, or if you decide to like them much later, after you get to know them better?

Your attitude to the new people you encounter will actually have a big impact on the number of friends you make, and the social life you enjoy.

Why? Because the attitude you have when you first meet somebody will affect the way that you treat those people, and the impression you make on them.

Many people who are lonely and have a hard time making friends have a surprising thing in common. When they meet new people they are often very judgmental and mentally they look for reasons to dislike the person they have just met.

When you have the attitude of liking someone you have just met, they will feel pleased to know you and will want to know you better. They will probably sense that you like them, and they will be more inclined to judge you in a kind and positive way.

If you like most of the people you encounter, you will have a far larger group of people in your friendship pool. When you genuinely like other people, they will be much more inclined to like you back.

On the other hand, when you don’t like people when you meet them, they will feel uncomfortable in your presence and will want to avoid you. They may sense that you don’t like them. They may even decide to dislike you in return. Every person that you dislike will automatically be excluded from the pool of people who can become your friends.

When you don’t like the majority of people that you meet, your friendship pool for making friends is much smaller.

If there is one secret to having friends, it’s a simple one, and here it is: Like Other People!

If you dislike almost everyone you meet, how many friends do you think you will make with this attitude? Very few of us want to get closer to a person when we sense that he doesn’t like us.

If you usually operate with a big long mental list of reasons to reject others, you will assume that other people are also deciding to reject you. If you routinely dislike other people because you are looking for their flaws, you won’t believe that others can really like you. When you reject other people for trivial reasons, you will also assume that others will reject you for trivial reasons.

This negative attitude will make you very suspicious when you encounter others, since you will be anticipating rejection from other people at any moment.

Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to give everyone a break?

When you meet other people, give other people a break, and give yourself a break too.

When you meet people for the first time, start out with the assumption that most people you encounter are nice human beings and worthy of your friendship. You can choose to believe that just about everybody you meet actually likes you, and that you like most other people. People who are very socially confident and have a lot of friends tend to have this attitude.

If this hasn’t been your attitude so far, you can work to change it.

How can you change this?

Whenever you meet someone new, actively look for things to like in that person. Look for their interesting and unique qualities. Suspend your need to judge and analyze others, and simply meet them as ordinary human beings who are struggling and evolving, and making their way through life, just like you. Find things that you like about each person, and let yourself feel that you actually like them.

You will find that when your attitude changes, the world will become a friendlier place, because you have become a friendlier person.

About The Author

This article is written by Royane Real, author of "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want – Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want to improve your social life, download it today at http://www.royanereal.com.

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Monday

Let's Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem
by: Rosella Aranda

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it’s because you don’t know yourself well enough to appreciate how basically wonderful you are. This is not empty flattery. It is true.

Sadly, many of us are totally estranged from ourselves, from what really makes us tick. This ignorance of our true nature results in relentless self-sabotage of both our work lives and all our relationships with people.

Whether you call it fear of failure or fear of success, self-sabotage can manifest in any number of ways. These behaviors run the gamut from seemingly harmless quirks to extreme masochistic behaviors. Here’s a small assortment:

* constant tardiness
* clumsiness, accident proneness
* failure to keep promises or honor commitments
* staying stuck in an unfulfilling job
* perfectionism
* feeling like a fraud, afraid that you’ll be exposed
* feeling empty, hollow despite outward success
* workaholism
* consistently poor choice of partners
* being a jack of all trades, master of none
* not knowing what you want to be “when you grow up”
* life-threatening addictions
* self-mutilation

Self-sabotage, no matter how it sneaks in, ultimately results in not allowing ourselves to get what we want. Why? The bottom line is that we feel we don’t deserve it.

To overcome the effects of low self-esteem, it is not enough to recognize that we have it. We need to understand WHY we have it. We must get in touch with who and what we genuinely are rather than who and what we think we are.

We Must Clean Out Our Mental Filter

We must sniff out the internalized messages from family and society that hinder our progress. This is imperative, for it is through these core beliefs that all other ideas are filtered.

We cannot just slap a new behavior or some positive thinking onto a flawed subconscious belief. Until the core beliefs are rectified, our progress will be spotty and short-lived at best.

We absolutely must examine how these core beliefs came into being. You guessed it. We need to go rummaging through our early childhood experiences.

I can hear it already. “Oh, no, don’t give me that ‘Poor Little Kid’ routine!”

Okay, I won’t. Instead, I’ll give you the “Who IS This Little Kid?” routine.

When we go delving into our past to determine the underlying dynamics of our psyches, the goal is:

* Not to cast blame
* Not to pass judgment
* Not to fob off our responsibility onto someone else

We’re not looking for what is good or what is bad, but simply what IS.

It is vital that we grant ourselves permission to look closely at what happened to us as very young children. We are searching for clues to the Truth of our early history.

Our goal is simply to appreciate our own personal saga and become fonder of ourselves in the process. As we do so, we will automatically feel more entitled to be happy and fulfilled in both our work and love lives.

That is our ultimate goal, and a worthier goal could not be had.

Where Else Do You Think You Can Look?

If your first reaction is to dismiss this idea as something you’ve heard about before, be aware that “knowing about” something is a far cry from understanding it or applying it.

And if you’re one of the many who think you “don’t need to go there,” just know that you won’t find your personal truth anywhere else.

Whether self-sabotage is ruining our lives or just quietly making us miserable, a start on the road to overcoming these self-defeating behaviors can be undertaken on our own.

If we should get stuck along the road, professional help through private therapists, clinics, and school or job counselors is generally available.

Once the underlying dynamics of our self-defeating behaviors are exposed and dealt with, it will be much easier to stop self-defeating behaviors in their tracks, before they have a chance to undermine us.

Once we reintegrate all of our personal power back into our lives, a whole new vista of possibilities opens up before us. This is a deeply exhilarating experience that none of us should miss.

About The Author

Rosella Aranda, Editor, Author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/ Free mini-course! http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/ Know How to Be Rich

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Thursday

The Triggers Of Anger
by: Burt Cotton

Triggers are what interrupts emotions and causes us to become angry. When we learn our triggers, we are taking a step in the right direction to control our emotions. First, we need to weed through the roots of anger to determine the problem. If you have obsessive anger, outbursts you might want to get a physical to eliminate chemical or physical roots of your anger.

Next, you will go to a mental health expert to eliminate mental illnesses that are often the root of anger. After you have done step one and two and the problem does not lie between mental illness and physical then you will need to attend anger management classes. Obviously, you have no control over your emotions; therefore, you will need to learn techniques that help you to cope better with your fears, frustrations, anxiety, depression and emotions. This will help you to move ahead in life and gain control of your anger.

You might want to ask your self what you are afraid of or what are the triggers of your anger? You might review the thoughts carefully to see if you anger is justifiable. Are you afraid to speak up and protect your rights? Is there something in your past that leads you to worry obsessively and enforce your anger? Maybe you were a victim of some incident in your past or you witnessed something that disturbed your conscious and you rambled through life without dealing with the stressor.

Regardless, you are affected somehow and your emotions are not cooperating with your thoughts. Some of us fret over things that are out of our control. For example, many of worry about growing old or dying, which is not in our hands to worry about? We all are growing older each day and it is a part of life that is out of our control. Likewise, we are all at risk of dying. It is how you deal with that makes or breaks your success. Accepting that you are growing old is the first step to eliminating worry that leads to anger.

Take the fear and reverse by telling your self that age is a factor of life that we all must face, yet I have some control. If I exercise, eat right, and take care of my skin then I may not look in the mirror when I am sixty and see an extremely wrinkled face and sagging skin. Likewise, if you know that you are dying and cannot do nothing about it, remember the more you take care of your mind and body the longer you will live.

Some of us worry about tomorrow and how we will manage to survive the next day. If you worry about tomorrow, you are missing what today can bring. No one has control of tomorrow and to worry about something that is out of our hands is wasting time and energy. If you have problems with worry, you might want to remember that today is another day and thank the Lord that you are breathing.

Worry is a form of selfishness, since you are anticipating a problem that may or may not occur. Some of us fear that we will go insane if our problems continue to escalate. This fear is not justifiable because you cannot predict your mind. Your mind may feel at wits ends, but you have control to handle your emotions if you reach inside your self and face your fears. Now we can review triggers by seeing that unjust and justifiable triggers are linked to emotions, which causes anger.

We might find that we are responsible for our emotions and failed to take charge of them, allowing them to rule our lives. We might even find a source in the past that invoked our emotions and promoted an undeveloped mind. When you find your triggers and review your problems, you are taking charge of your anger and your life will prove fruitful for your efforts. Triggers are objects, words, pictures, sound, taste, smell and when a person is triggered to anger, they often react either positively or negatively to the source.

About The Author

Burt Cotton http://www.anger-management-help.org

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Wednesday

Handing The Bat To Joe DiMaggio
By Steve Amoia

An American Cultural Icon


If you ever played baseball, the mystical name of DiMaggio was as familiar as the crack of the bat, or the thud of the ball hitting the back of the catcher's mitt. Just like cold beer, hot dogs, and the seventh inning stretch, Joe DiMaggio was an integral part of American baseball tradition and lore.

If you grew up Italian as I did, you never referred to him as Joe or DiMaggio. It was always Mr. DiMaggio. He became an American icon; however, to Italian-Americans, he represented much more than the perfect swing, the graceful strides, or "The Streak" that would make him immortal. Mr. DiMaggio embodied what our people could achieve despite discrimination and media stereotypes that unfortunately still linger even today.

Giuseppe Paolo DiMaggio was born in Martinez, California, on 25 November 1920. He was the eighth of nine children born to Giuseppe and Rosalie, who were immigrants from the Sicilian island of Isola della Femmina (Island of the Women.) His father was a fisherman; however, young Joe did not like the rigors of Fisherman's Wharf. He preferred to play on the sandlots of North Beach, which was and is an Italian section of San Francisco.

His father thought that Joe was lazy, and hoped that the allure of baseball would soon leave his son. Like most immigrant fathers, he wanted more for his children than a future of working the docks of San Francisco. But Joe was not an avid student, and at the age of 16, he dropped out of Galileo High School, and worked various laborer jobs for the next few years. He played semi-professional baseball for the San Francisco Seals, and in due course, was scouted and later signed by the New York Yankees.

Rare Childhood Opportunity

My father, Michael Amoia, had a rare opportunity as a child. His family lived near Griffith Stadium, which was at that time the home of the Washington Redskins and Senators. My father was very athletic, and competed in baseball and football for his high school, McKinley Technical. Somehow, and it remains a family mystery, my father obtained a job working for both the Redskins and Senators. My grandfather was not a sportsman, and one can imagine that few adolescents would have been brave enough to walk into the administrative offices of Griffith Stadium to ask for a job.

The ironic facet of this story was that few of his old friends knew about this part of his life. When I mentioned the anecdote during his eulogy, several of his friends approached me later with seeming disbelief. It was a part of my father’s life that was very private, but one that always fascinated me. During his life, he would mention DiMaggio on occasion.

I had an older cousin, Rob, who had heard the story in more detail. My father worked in the clubhouse for the Redskins, and was a batboy for the Washington Senators, where his domain was the visitor's dugout. He handed Joe DiMaggio his bat on several occasions. Dad was able to observe Mr. DiMaggio both on and off the field. The experience was imbued upon his memory. Even as my father developed Alzheimer’s Disease, the mere mention of Joe DiMaggio would bring a smile to his face.

Personal Reflections by Michael Amoia

Dad, what was he like? "He was a very quiet and private man. In the clubhouse, he didn't say much, and the other players left him alone. But you knew he was their leader. He had custom-made suits, and always looked sharp. He even looked good in those baggy uniforms they wore back then. He used to drink coffee and smoke Chesterfields between innings, and a few times I had to run out to by him smokes. You were told by the Senators to treat all the players the same, but with DiMaggio, it was a different story... His family was Sicilian. After the games, he used to sign balls for me. I sold them outside the stadium for $1. That was a lot of money in those days. That's how we were paid. We had to ask the players to sign balls or broken bats."

What made him great? "Instincts. He always seemed to do the right thing. You never saw him out of position in the outfield. He was quick as a cat. Strong arm. Didn't miss cutoff men. At bat, you never saw a smoother or quicker swing. Only Ted Williams was a better hitter. He could hit for power and for a high average. He was very graceful for a big man. He played each inning as if it were his last. I never saw him get angry."

Few of us could have such a childhood memory. It is said that youth is wasted on the young; however, in my father’s case, I would beg to differ.

Copyright © 2006 by Steve Amoia. All rights reserved. Photo courtesy of Wikipedia where it qualified as free use under U.S. copyright law.

About the author

Steve Amoia is a freelance writer and also designs personal web pages. He lives in the Washington, D.C. area. He has published articles and book reviews about alternative health, career-related themes, Italian and international soccer, along with martial arts. He also maintains a non-profit web site dedicated to World Football (soccer) that includes an interesting Argentine family connection made possible by the Internet. His writing portfolio, along with the soccer site, may be found at http://www.sanstefano.com, and his email address is info@sanstefano.com.

Tuesday

There Is No Excuse For Being Unhappy
by: Ineke Van Lint

Many people are living a life of sadness, despair, fear and anger, as if they were living in a basement with a very low ceiling. A cold, damp ceiling of dense concrete, keeping them down. There are no windows in this place, no sunshine coming in, no birds singing, no nightingales, no voices of children playing, no affection, no tenderness. Instead there are tons of misery, illness, sadness, anger, depression, fatigue, anxiety, doubt and low self-esteem.

How can you leave these gloomy quarters? How do you go back to the gentle sunlight? All you need to do is take a few steps up the staircase, and there you are: on the first floor, where there’s lots of light, love, abundance, joy, well-being and plenty of sunshine – even if it’s raining outside. All of this is just one floor away! One floor up, in fact.

Why is it so hard to leave the basement, to wake up from this nightmare, and to reach that place where you long to be, when it is just a few steps away? Because “they” have told you that this murky basement you’re living in is all there is, and you have taken their word for it. Who are “they” ? They are your parents, your teachers, people around you, TV shows you watch, newspapers you read, and so on.

You think this sad life in the basement is reality, and that love and excitement is the stuff that dreams are made of. My dear, you are living an illusion! You are living a huge misunderstanding, for it is exactly the other way around. It is the darkness that is the dream (a nightmare in fact), and Love and Light that is real.

Unfortunately, “they” never told you that real life is happening just a few steps up. They never told you that you are living in a nightmare. Why didn’t they tell you? Are they that sadistic? Didn’t they want you to be happy and healthy and abundant? Oh yes, they did! So why didn’t they tell you? Because they simply don’t know themselves! They too believe, and have believed for their whole life, that the lies they are living are the truth, that the nightmare is real. And so they couldn’t have told you anything else than the lies they themselves take for truth.

This handover of misunderstandings and lies has been going on for a very long time, generation after generation. Do you really want to stay under that ceiling, cramped and swamped in darkness and misery? Do you want your children to fall for these lies, “living” a “life” of discontent, heaviness and chronic disease? Or do you want to live one step beyond, a few steps up, being showered with love and feeling the sunshine on your face?

How do you get there? It’s right there!

You will have to stretch yourself a little bit to get there. You will have to take a serious look at your belief system and carefully examine the core beliefs that all of your thoughts are built upon. Then you will need to decide whether you will continue believing the lies they told you, or whether you will abandon those limiting ideas, make up your own mind, and take a shot at living in joy and excitement.

Stretch yourself, step out of your comfort zone. You will have to quit some bad habits and leave behind some of the people you used to hang out with. You can no longer dwell in negative energy vibrations once you have made up your mind that you want to live on a positive vibe.

How can you go one floor up and step back into the light? There are several things you can do! Take a walk in nature, listen to some uplifting music, read an inspiring book, attend workshops to develop your talents, discover your inner truth and your true nature in moments of silence, take your dreams serious and do whatever you can to realize them. Nurture your passions: sing, dance, paint, draw, make love with your loved one, connect with your guardian angel, look into the eyes of a child, play with your pets, make friends with the Universe, have a conversation with God (and with the neighbors), follow your own path, lift your vibration with therapies like Bach Flower Therapy, and so on. In a nutshell : surround yourself with people, objects and activities that have a high energy vibration and that makes your energy flow in your body. There is so much to enjoy!

There is so much you can do to uplift your energy vibration, that there is absolutely no excuse to stay underground. Unless you consciously choose to be loyal to those who tell you there is no fun in life, that this misery is just the way life is, that you have to accept it, and that the basement is the only room in the house. You have a choice to make: or you make it your priority to uplift your energy, or you stay where you are. It’s totally up to you! You have the freedom to choose. Since everybody can go upstairs, since access is denied to nobody, there really is no excuse not to go there…

You should do every day things that make you feel happy. It won't happen by itself. Make a list of what makes you feel smiling and what uplifts your energy, and start doing at least some of these things every day! You can, nobody withholds you!

Consider this: the effort needed to go up that staircase is no bigger than the effort needed to stay under that low ceiling, carrying a heavy load on your shoulders. The effort is the same but the results are vastly different! Staying where you are is wallowing in misery and pain. Going upstairs is telling the world you really believe you and everybody else deserve a life filled with light and enthusiasm! Your life is waiting for you! Go up there and get it! Don’t wait for it to happen by itself. Stand up, move your body, take action and do what makes you feel better!

Why not go up? The difference is enthusiasm!

About The Author

Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. Live your life your way, full of joy, abundance and enthusiasm! Decide to be happy and go for it! Follow your dreams. Two free e-courses on http://www.theenthusiasm.com.


===========================

Monday

Easy weight-loss - without a diet!
by: Michael McGrath

There are many different reasons why someone may want to lose weight. You may want to feel healthier, look better, fit into your old clothes or even have been advised by a medical practitioner to get in shape. However, if you are one of those people who battle constantly with your weight then you already know how hard it is to stick to a diet. In the majority of cases they just don't work!

All the current slimming pills and weight-loss fads are of extremely limited effectiveness. When you take into consideration the dangers of surgical procedures and the lack of long-term studies of new-fad diets a safe, reliable alternative is needed.

Although many claim that there are painless ways of losing weight the simple is truth is that weight-loss, like everything else worth achieving in life, requires some effort on your part. However there are techniques and tools to make your transition to health much more enjoyable and easy. A great example is the Paul McKenna famous system which was tested on British television with remarkable results. It didn't even involve hypnosis!

McKenna spent 13 years analyising the behaviours of naturally thin people in order to devise his weight-loss system and found some amazing things.

Every person has an inborn weight control mechanism, a set point that attempts to maintain a particular amount of fat on the body. Based on this premise Paul McKenna formulated his easy to use weight-loss system which as I mentioned earlier had an enormous beneficial affect on the British TV viewing public. He even allowed people to eat what they wanted and they still lost massive amounts of weight!

Normally when we go on a diet we are forcing the body to adjust to a new way of eating. This is in effect resisting the powerful totally natural urges the body has to prevent energy deficit. So appetite suppressants may help to reduce these drives, and forcing a change in eating habits may retrain the body and mind into a new eating regime but the body will still has these urges because they are inherent and totally natural.

In addition many people overeat due to stress or the desire to suppress negative emotions or feelings of discomfort. Everyone knows the classic 'comfort eater'. This is why the use of self hypnosis is so effective for weight-loss because it can retrain the mind to view food, fitness and eating in more healthy ways.

However, McKenna's research shows that, if you follow your own body's natural rhythm and don't force yourself into strict eating habits or deny yourself the food you want most then you will be much more successful at losing weight. By denyng yourself certain things you set up resistance and you will make it much more difficult to stick to your weight-loss plan. The mind is tricky and I am sure you will agree that you always want something more when you know that you can't have it!

The key is to stop denying yourself the foods you really enjoy but to at them in moderation. I know this is easier said than done but McKenna has some simple yet powerful techniques to ensure your success. Basically you can eat what you want!

Stop eating once your full! Many of us, myself included, tend to keep eating after our body has sent the brian the message "right stop eating I'm satisfied". We need to learn to recognise these signs and take heed of them.

Take an extra 15 minutes of exercise a day. Spread it over the day so it is achieved in very small steps and you will be burning up more calories.

All the current slimming pills and weight-loss fads are of extremely limited effectiveness. When you take into consideration the dangers of surgical procedures and the lack of long-term studies of new-fad diets a safe, reliable alternative is needed.

Although many claim that there are painless ways of losing weight the simple is truth is that weight-loss, like everything else worth achieving in life, requires some effort on your part. However there are techniques and tools to make your transition to health much more enjoyable and easy. A great example is the Paul McKenna famous system which was tested on British television with remarkable results. It didn't even involve hypnosis!

McKenna spent 13 years analyising the behaviours of naturally thin people in order to devise his weight-loss system and found some amazing things.

Every person has an inborn weight control mechanism, a set point that attempts to maintain a particular amount of fat on the body. Based on this premise Paul McKenna formulated his easy to use weight-loss system which as I mentioned earlier had an enormous beneficial affect on the British TV viewing public. He even allowed people to eat what they wanted and they still lost massive amounts of weight! - http://www.personal-development.info/weight-loss.html

Normally when we go on a diet we are forcing the body to adjust to a new way of eating. This is in effect resisting the powerful totally natural urges the body has to prevent energy deficit. So appetite suppressants may help to reduce these drives, and forcing a change in eating habits may retrain the body and mind into a new eating regime but the body will still has these urges because they are inherent and totally natural.

In addition many people overeat due to stress or the desire to suppress negative emotions or feelings of discomfort. Everyone knows the classic 'comfort eater'. This is why the use of self hypnosis is so effective for weight-loss because it can retrain the mind to view food, fitness and eating in more healthy ways.

However, McKenna's research shows that, if you follow your own body's natural rhythm and don't force yourself into strict eating habits or deny yourself the food you want most then you will be much more successful at losing weight. By denyng yourself certain things you set up resistance and you will make it much more difficult to stick to your weight-loss plan. The mind is tricky and I am sure you will agree that you always want something more when you know that you can't have it!

The key is to stop denying yourself the foods you really enjoy but to at them in moderation. I know this is easier said than done but McKenna has some simple yet powerful techniques to ensure your success. Basically you can eat what you want!

Stop eating once your full! Many of us, myself included, tend to keep eating after our body has sent the brian the message "right stop eating I'm satisfied". We need to learn to recognise these signs and take heed of them.

Take an extra 15 minutes of exercise a day. Spread it over the day so it is achieved in very small steps and you will be burning up more calories.

So to outline:

Naturally thin people eat whatever they want! Now this may lead you to believe that they have a higher metobolism or have been blessed with fat burning genes but the truth is much simplier and applies to everyone. Which leads us to our next point.

Naturally thin people have a different psychological view about food and fitness. This is why they can eat what they want. By changing what food means to you at a deep subconscious level you change your automatic responses to food and exercise.

Naturally thin people don't have uncontrollable food cravings. McKenna teaches that any cravings you have are merely learned behaviour and they can be unlearned. He shows how it is possible to break all cravings and re-programme your mind in just minutes

If you follow these simple steps, as outlined in this article, you are guaranteed success and a new healthy, fit body.

About The Author

Michael McGrath is the owner of several successful Internet businesses, a university computer graduate and he has over 21 years experience with personal development. His most popular sites are Personal Development - The personal development industry put to the test. We only review personal development products that work!

Hypnosis - The best hypnosis & self hypnosis products reviewed. Find out what really works!

personal-development.info

webmaster@personal-development.info

===============================

Sunday

Top 10 Skills for New World of Work
by: Michelle L Casto

There are many changes coming in the world of work, such as increased competition, the need for more education and certifications, and the trend to change careers 5-7 times in a lifetime. No matter what job or career path you decide to take, there are some basic skills that all employers look for. To succeed in the modern world of work, keep your skill set up- to- date. The following is a list of the top ten skills needed for the new world of work.

1. Communication

Communication is the ability to effectively communicate your thoughts and ideas in person, on paper, and over the telephone. It involves listening to others and being open to other viewpoints and opinions.

What communication skills can you develop?

2. Creativity

Creativity is the ability to think and act “out of the box.” To be creative is to discover new and innovative ways of thinking and doing things.

How can you be more creative?

3. Technology

Understanding technology is the willingness to utilize computer systems, the latest software, etc.. Embracing technology means using the computer in your daily life and on the job.

What do you need to embrace technology?

4. Team Work

Team work is the ability to work effectively in a team situation. It is being able to utilize the right people to get the best results and being willing to lead and to follow.

What do you can you be counted on to bring to a team?

5. Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to “go with the flow.” To be flexible, you change on an as-needed basis, with the ability to “change hats” frequently.

How can you bend and stretch more?

6. Information Management

Managing information is the ability to know where to get needed information---to search, locate, and retrieve it. This may involve utilizing various resources, whether they be people, printed materials, or the vast world of technology.

Where do you need to go to get the information you need?

7. Self Management

Self management is the ability to manage oneself in personal and professional situations. When you manage yourself, you are able to respond appropriately to stressful situations.

How can you more effectively manage yourself?

8. Customer Care

To care for the customer is the ability to care about the needs and concerns of other people, especially those you serve. It is to “go the extra mile” for your customers or clients.

In what ways can you go “the extra mile” for others?

9. Character

To have character is to project a positive image by acting in a manner that reflects trust, confidence, honesty, and integrity.

What kind of character do you want to project?

10. Personal Development

To develop personally is the ability to continuously improve upon one’s skill set. It is to be dedicated to lifelong learning.

How can you commit to lifelong learning?

It is never too early to develop these key skills. And,with practice and commitment, you will become the kind of worker employers are looking for.

About The Author


Michelle L. Casto is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker and author of Get Smart! About Modern Career Development: A Personal Guide to Creating Your Life’s Work. www.getsmartseries.com
and www.brightlightcoach.com
coach@getsmartseries.com

==============================

Saturday

Living With a Bold Heart
by: William Frank Diedrich

A bold heart is a big heart. It does not play at being small. It is not tentative or hesitant. It moves forward, embracing life, creation, and its own ability to love. Most people do not carry a bold heart because their heart has been broken. We experienced rejection, abuse, or abandonment as children and so our heart was wounded. The wounded heart is carried forward into adulthood, recreating more hurtful situations for itself. A wounded heart suffers from the still unmet needs of childhood. It is always looking for that which will fix it, seeking nurturance in other people, money, food, alcohol, self pity, injury, or illness. A wounded heart cannot live fully because it is not whole.

How do we heal our hearts? How do we go from woundedness to boldness? How do we move from scarcity to abundance? It begins by making a commitment to love. A commitment to love is an intention to align with positive energy. It is an intention to heal, to seek only that which is highest and best for ourselves and others. We create positive energy by cultivating loving thoughts and emotions within ourselves.

I recall a story about a reporter who interviewed baseball umpires. He asked these umpires how they called a pitch a ball or a strike. He asked two umpires about their methods. Both said: "I call it the way I see it." He asked another umpire, "How do you call balls and strikes?" The umpire answered: "That pitch isn't anything until I say what it is."

You are the umpire of your life. Every day the world appears to throw people and events at you. These people and events aren't anything until you say what they are. You create your experience. If you see the world through wounded eyes, you will see hurt, rejection, lack, struggle, and pain. If you see the world through the eyes of a bold heart, you will see opportunity, abundance, and victory.

I may be rejected a hundred times. I may feel hurt and unworthy as a result. I can wallow in these feelings, setting myself up for more rejections, and more hurt. I can isolate myself to prevent rejection. These choices are out of fear and will lead me back into more experiences of fear. Fear becomes a way of life that I am comfortably uncomfortable in living. Have I had enough of rejection, of being hurt? Am I ready to live differently?

Choosing love, I begin to forgive all those who seemingly hurt me. I forgive myself for letting them. I forgive God and life for the suffering I thought was given to me. I change my perception, realizing that there is no such thing as rejection. There are only choices--the choice to leave; the choice to stay; the choice to suffer; the choice to be happy or not; the choice to love or to live in fear. It is a life changing decision to choose love as a way of seeing the world. This doesn't mean we never feel fear or anger. It means that we always return to love. We find ourselves in the midst of anger, of resentment, of frustration, of feeling hurt, and we choose to remember.

Realizing my suffering is self imposed, I begin to question my reactions to people and events. When I feel rejected, I step back from myself and see what is really happening. Have I set myself up for this experience? Did I fail to value myself? Did I treat this other person as an object, a prize to be won or lost? Did I care about this person or was I only concerned about winning his approval? Did I value myself enough to make decisions about what I wanted, to say how I felt, to express my inner being? Did I speak my needs, desires and ideas, or did I make the other person responsible for the relationship?

The intention to love causes me to raise my value. At the same time I value others by not imposing my will upon them. I am free and so is everyone else. I am free to be happy or not. Others are free to be with me or not. I can say to any person or thing, whether it be business or personal: "You are free to be with me or not. If you choose not to be, then I wish you well. If you choose to be with me, then let us appreciate one another as we are."

The Divine Presence has no desire that you suffer. The Divine Presence is pure love. You are an expression of this Presence. Its pure positive energy is always flowing through you. When you appreciate life, see the good in yourself, see the blessings others offer you, you align yourself with the pure positive energy of the Universe. As you spend more time appreciating self, life, and others you raise your vibration. The energy field that emanates from you becomes lighter, more approachable. You begin to attract more loving experiences.

We find our bold heart one step at a time. We find it by consistently refusing to be dragged into the depths of negative thinking. We can become aware that an inflow of negative thinking is a thought attack we launch upon ourselves. When my thought attacks hit, I say to myself: "I am not interested in this. I have seen this movie before. I wrote it, produced it, directed it, and starred in it a hundred times. It bores me; I'm not interested." I consciously change my thought to something more productive, more interesting, more in alignment with the Divine Presence from which I was created.

It takes courage to love. It seems easier to insist on being right rather than making peace; to be small and wait for the world to cater to our needs; to wear our hurt feelings on our sleeves because others don't fulfill our expectations. It takes courage to look at ourselves with honesty and compassion; to withdraw our energy from being a victim; to stop blaming.

A bold heart lives within your being. It desires to give of itself, to live life passionately and joyously, to live courageously. It is so bold that you may fear it, taking refuge in your suffering and discomfort. Love is nothing to be afraid of. It is your essence. Living with a bold heart is like coming home to your Self. You feel accepted by you, blessed by the Divine Presence, and free of fear.

About The Author

William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach and the author of three books, including The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, 30 Days to Prosperity, and Beyond Blaming. To learn more about his books, services, and free gifts go to http://transformativepress.com.


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Wednesday

7 Things Happy People Know How To Do
by: Kathy Gates

Ever notice how some people just seem to be able to be content and bounce back no matter what the circumstances? Research shows that this isn’t a gift or a talent – it’s a skill that they have developed. Surprised? Well, the real surprise is that you too can put to work their techniques and make your life happier too.

1. Happy people cooperate with life.

Each person has a destiny to fulfill. You can fight it or cooperate with it. Does that mean you just lay back and let life happen? No. But you can adopt the attitude that you will play the cards you are dealt the very best you can. When you begin to cooperate with life, you will notice new ways in which you are motivated. Life wants you to realize your destiny. Wouldn’t you rather cooperate than battle with life?

2. Happy people don’t just think positive, they act

positive.

Thinking positive definitely has its place, and you’ll need to change your thoughts to ever be truly happy. But don’t wait on the feelings to come. You have direct control over how you act and what you think (feelings and physiology are indirectly affected). If you want to be a happier person, act happier. If you want to be a more compassionate person, act more compassionate. If you want to be a friendlier person, act friendlier. The feelings will follow.

3. Happy people ask for what they need.

Good things don’t generally just fall out of the sky. Complaining gets you nothing, except to attract you to other complainers. If you believe that “you reap what you sow”, then asking for what you want makes much more sense than sowing complaints. It’s your choice-- you can choose to point fingers and assign blame, and still end up with nothing. Or you can simply ask.

4. Happy people are willing to change.

It’s contrary to all laws of nature for things to stand still. If you try to make that happen, you’ll always be disappointed. If you let fear of change stop you, you are in essence *agreeing* to not having what you want. You can believe that change will harm you and resist it. Or you can embrace it and believe that it will help you. It all depends on what you decide to believe.

5. Happy people don’t allow themselves to be

defeated.

A failure or set back does not mean that the goal will never be yours, nor is it evidence that you should quit. It simply means that you need more practice, more experience. Be willing to make mistakes. Don’t give up. Don’t allow one slipup, or setback from the outside, influence you to erase all the progress you’ve made. Feel the joy of the finish line!

6. Happy people live in the present.

If you are alert to the present, and anticipating the future, you are better able to take advantage of opportunities. If you are brooding over the past, you’ll be blinded to present possibilities, and lose the advantage for future prospects. A happy life is the product of living a great present. And a well lived present is a guarantee of a wonderful future. You can only affect your future by what you do today.

7. Happy people plan ahead.

Happy people know that they must exercise mastery in their lives, show control in their life in order to guard against feelings of being helpless and victims. Planning is essential to getting things done. Planning is essential to making sure you are spending time on your priorities, and not just the next thing that gets your attention. Plan for what’s important to you, and choose to spend your limited time, money, energy, and resources on it.

About The Author

Kathy Gates is a Professional Life Coach in Scottsdale Arizona. What is Life Coaching? I help people become better satisfied with their lives by making some changes, or pursuing a goal. Visit www.reallifecoach.com for information, products and services and sign up for her free newsletter
kathy@reallifecoach.com

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The Power Of Words
by: Michael Manjin

Have you heard the expression “Be careful what you wish for - you’ll most likely get it?” I’d like to expand on that by adding not only are your thoughts critical to the manifestation of your reality so are your words.

It’s not what you say but how you say it

There are words you most likely use each and every day which are perfectly acceptable in common conversion and yet can have detrimental effects on the manifestation of your reality. Your thoughts along with the words you choose to convey those thoughts sets up vibrations that are constantly being sent out to time and space around you. Like attracts like so naturally you begin to draw toward you those vibrations that match your frequency at a particular point in time space. You may not realize it but you are a magnet attracting those events toward you that ultimately manifest your reality. What this means for you is that you not only have to choose your thoughts carefully but also your verbalization of those thoughts.

Take for instance three very common words that we all use regularly in our everyday speech: don’t, won’t and can’t. Realistically you could add additional words to the list such as “no” and “try” but these four letter words just seem to have a better ring to them don’t you think?

So what is it about these words that make them so undesirable and detrimental to our well being? For starters they are words of exclusion. When you say these words you are conveying to the universe events or experiences you do not want in your life. Source energy however, doesn’t understand the difference between like and dislike, positive or negative, right or wrong and quite frankly it doesn’t care. Its job is not to judge but to deliver that upon which you focus your predominate thoughts. This is the basis of the universal Law Of Attraction which implies that you draw towards yourself, for better or for worse, those events that match the frequency of your predominate thoughts. It stands to reason then that instead of declaring what you don’t want or wish to exclude why not frame it in terms of what you do want or wish to include? Start attracting towards you that which you do want instead of that which you don’t want and watch how your reality manifests itself.

For example:

“Johnny don’t spill your milk”, becomes, “Johnny please drink your milk”.

We want Johnny to drink his milk. No encouragement for spilling is necessary.

“I can’t figure this out, it’s too complicated”, becomes, “I enjoy a challenge and I will find the answer to this problem.”

If you think you can or think you can’t your right.

“I won’t go out with men that are losers”, becomes, “I appreciate the company of intelligent, sensitive and confident men.”

Do you see the difference?

By thinking and speaking of excluding undesirables you inadvertently draw attention to it and thus draw it closer to your reality. Remember, always think and talk about what you do want, can have and will do and not what you don’t want, can’t have and won’t do.

During the course of a typical day how many times do you think and talk about those events that imply don’t, can’t or won’t? Include the many other words that have a similar effect like “no” and you get the idea. In reality precisely the opposite effect of your intentions are being manifested. The next time you find this happening to yourself try this simple exercise to empower your thinking and get you back on track towards manifesting the reality you truly desire. Just stop thinking! For a short time that is. The next time you find yourself experiencing events and emotions which are not empowering to you stop those thoughts and force your thinking to those thoughts that you find empowering. Any thought that makes you feel good is an empowering thought. When you feel good about yourself and the world around you then you know you’re on track with your thinking.

Here’s a simple, easy and quick aid to help straighten out your thinking. Ask yourself this question: “What is my next thought going to be?” and then wait. Focus all of your attention on the arrival of your next thought and nothing else. It may take anywhere from a few seconds to a minute or more before you experience your next thought. However long it takes that’s okay. You just pressed your mind’s reset button and it might take a little while to boot back up so to speak. Notice any difference in your thoughts? Now concentrate on your empowering thoughts or the “feel good” thoughts. The power of the right words flowing from your mouth as a result of your empowering thoughts automatically attracts toward you the reality that you truly desire to manifest.

It takes time, patience and practice to become proficient in mastering your thoughts but it’s worth it and you’re definitely worth it. Besides you’ll enhance your well being by being the best you can be.

To your continued prosperity,

Mike Manjin

About The Author

Mike Manjin presents advice on self improvement and personal fullfillment. To discover more about powerful success principles please visit http://www.lifeprosper.com or for more information email him at mmanjin@lifealteringprinciples.com.

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Tuesday

Holiday Stress Hotspots: Manage Stress with Knowledge
by: Simma Lieberman

There are four main causes of holiday stress: gift giving obligations, expenses, a lack of time, and unrealistic expectations about creating a perfect holiday. To reduce holiday stress, arm yourself with knowledge. Know the ins and outs of these top four holiday stress hotspots and follow these effective stress-reducing tips:

Holiday Stress Hotspot #1: Gifts

* Make a list of everyone you need to buy gifts for.

* Look for gifts you can buy for multiple people. Similarly, look for stores where you can buy many gifts for a lot of people.

* Plan a few back-up gifts, generic gifts with blank cards for people you might forget or who unexpectedly give you a gift.

* Focus on the point of gift giving: showing your appreciation for someone. Enjoy the process of finding them something they'll like.

* If you don't like shopping, plan a single gift shopping day. Make this day sooner than later to avoid the holiday shopping craze.

* Or, don't go shopping. Thanks to the internet and catalogues, there is enough time to order gifts so you don't have to leave your house or office.

* Better yet, take off the whole month of December and go to the mountains where no one can call, email or page you.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #2: Holiday Expenses

* Set a budget, and stick to it. Don't buy gifts that you'll spend the rest of the year trying to pay off.

* Think of alternative ways to give gifts (set up a gift exchange, make some handmade gifts or foodstuffs).

* Choose inexpensive ways of entertaining and enjoying. Have a potluck party instead of providing all the food yourself.

* Do activities with family and friends that cost little or no money: go on walks, have a movie night instead of going to see the latest blockbuster together.

* Give the gift of a phone call or note. Let the people you care about know how important they are to you with words, not expensive gifts. Most people need this type of nourishment in general and may need it even more during the holidays. It may be the best gift they get.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #3: A Lack of Time

* Complete your gift shopping early. This will relieve you of one of the biggest time stresses during the holidays.

* Refuse Invitations. You don't have to go to every party you're invited to. If party going becomes a chore or exhausting, step back and slow down the pace.

* Take time for yourself. With so much emphasis on time with family and friends, many people feel guilty taking time for themselves. Take it. When you consciously plan to have alone time, it keeps you empowered and reduces possible feelings of melancholy during the holiday season. You will also be also be less overwhelmed by external stimuli.

* Share the tasks. Don't take on too much. View your to-do list as an opportunity to spend time with people.

* Share responsibilities and your tasks will take half as long and be more enjoyable.

Holiday Stress Hotspot #4: Anticipation and Expectations

* Be realistic. Just because it's the holidays, family issues will not suddenly disappear and everything will not be perfect.

* Adjust your expectations. Expect a few bumps in the road at family events and gatherings and you'll be better able to deal with them.

* Relish Traditions. Focus on those little traditions that make evoke positive memories for the holidays: songs, events, rituals, etc. Consider creating new traditions if older ones are marred with mixed memories.

About The Author

Simma Lieberman helps organizations create environments where people can do their best work and be successful. She specializes in Diversity and Inclusion, Diversity Dialogues, and Eliminating Fear and Self-doubt. Simma is the co-author with Kate Berardo and George Simons of the book "Putting Diversity to Work." She can be reached at http://www.simmalieberman.com.

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Monday

What To Do When You Feel Stuck In A Life You Don’t Love
by: Melissa Quiter

When you read the title of this article, did you immediately think, “That is me?” Does your life feel like you have two legs submerged in a pit of quicksand and the more you push and pull and attempt to “get out,” the more submerged you get and the more tired you feel?

You are not alone. In fact, the next thing I tell you may sound less than inspiring. But read on, as you will soon find, the most challenging truths are actually the greatest opportunities for amazing joy.

The truth is that humans are destined to feel stuck at various points in their lives. There is no way to avoid it and no way to ignore it. Feeling stuck is an absolute given condition of human beings.

So, you may be asking, “Why is being stuck a given?” It is because humans are always growing, always changing and always evolving. There is never a moment when your body, mind or spirit stops recreating itself. Humans are always desiring (wanting something) — even if it is simply a breath of air. When you achieve a goal you have strived toward for years, that goal ceases to be a goal the minute it is attained. And just like you don’t get rid of bad thoughts or bad habits — you replace them with better thoughts or better behaviors — what you desire is constantly being replaced by what you desire next. This doesn’t mean you are not momentarily happy with where you are. However, your mind seeks expansion. There is only so long that humans can stay satisfied with where they are before new desires pop into their heads. Desiring is what continually evolves the universe and the human spirit.

Another thing to be aware of is that you have multiple areas of your life that are happening simultaneously. I call these the Nine Environments of Holistic Living. In each of these environments you have different goals and different intentions. You may be focused heavily on one or two areas, and after achieving amazing things in those areas, “suddenly” become aware of another area that is lacking in some way. You are now focusing on that neglected area. Regardless of how satisfied you are in the other areas, the neglected area, you are now focused on, feels stagnate and stuck. For example, a person who achieves a long-worked-for goal in her career may then shift her focus to relationships and feel stuck in a bad relationship or stuck in not having a relationship. It doesn’t take away from her career achievements, but the feeling is still there because the focus has shifted.

The feeling of being stuck is simply you telling yourself that there is more that you desire in a given area or areas. The frustration of being stuck, and what may create negative emotions around it, is often caused when you aren’t sure how to make the changes you want to get unstuck. Thus, being stuck may create a panic inside of you that the situation will never change. The degree to which you feel the stuck-ness and how quickly you respond to this feeling often determines how being stuck affects you.

First, I think it useful to define what being stuck really means. Being stuck may not mean what you think it means, which can be what makes being stuck feel so hopeless and frustrating. Being stuck is not a destination. It is not a life sentence. It is also does not define who you are, just where you are at any given moment. Being stuck is simply a notification — a sign if you will — that it is time to start making something new and different happen in your life. When you are feeling stuck, it is simply another part of you tapping you on the proverbial shoulder saying, “Hey, I am no longer satisfied with where I am or what I have in a particular area and I need something else.”

Just like if you have ever driven a car and you stop at a red light. When the light turns green, that is your sign to get moving. Being stuck is a simply a green light — a sign saying, it is time to get moving. The key is knowing how to get moving. This is where being stuck can feel like a horrible condition, a limiting circumstance and a trap. If you don’t know that pushing on the gas pedal will get you moving in your car, you can’t move. If your car is in the wrong gear, you can’t move. And if you resist that the light is green, you cannot move. If you resist that you feel stuck (which means you don’t welcome the emotion, but instead get caught up in the feelings of being trapped and hampered), you actually put your focus on the being stuck, instead of your focus on the sign to get moving. If you embrace that the sign is there, you then have the freedom to explore the options for how to get moving. When you have the freedom to explore, you can usually create change pretty quickly.

This may sound a bit confusing, so let me be as clear as possible given this is a critical piece for allowing yourself to get unstuck. By acknowledging that you are in a place you don’t want to be, but not delving into the emotions of being there, you free up your energy to focus on where you do want to be. You free up your energy to focus on what you do want, not what you don’t want. This is the foundation of the Law of Attraction, which says that which you focus your energy on is what you attract to you — wanted or unwanted. Learning to use being stuck as a positive sign that you are desiring more, opens you up to asking how to get it, instead of delving into the emotions of being where you don’t want to be, and fearing you are always going to be there.

No matter what question you ask yourself, you will get an answer. If you ask yourself — Why am I stuck here? What did I do to deserve this? Why does this always happen to me? Am I going to be here forever? — you will get an answer. And, most likely, you will get an answer that won’t assist you in pushing on your gas pedal or figuring out you are in the wrong gear. If you ask empowering questions, like — What do I want that I don’t have? How can I get it? What have I been doing and what can I do differently? — you begin focusing on answers that will propel you forward.

Getting unstuck can be an easy and smooth process. The key is using the proper tools to assist you. Using tools — questions, exercises, programs, processes, other people, etc. — is the number one way for re-directing your focus. Tools are how humans create in the universe. Learning and using the tools of notes and instruments are what allow you to make music. Learning and using hammers, nails and engineering are what allow you to construct buildings. Learning and using the alphabet, grammar and paper or computers are what allow you to write novels and poetry. Getting unstuck, changing your life, manifesting your desires is done by learning and using the natural tools of creating — the Law of Attraction, the Nine Environments of Holistic Living, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the Process of Deliberate Creation, the Prosperity Process, the Power of Intention, the Universal Laws, Law of Attraction Coaches, Messages from Abraham or Seth, etc.

No one has to stay stuck. No one has to live a life they don’t love. It is simply recognizing the sign that it is time to make a change. Then, assessing what tools will assist in making that change, and beginning the process. Embrace the feeling of being stuck so you can get moving, seek out the tools you need and start today.

Here is to your freedom!

Copyright 2005 Melissa Quiter

About The Author

Melissa Jean Quiter is an inspirational life and business strategist with Provocative Communications. She is the author of the 4-phase, life and business-changing program, “Being Spiritual Doesn’t Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness,” based on the Law of Attraction and the three required elements (the universal laws, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Nine Environments of Holistic Living) to ensure your success 100% of the time. To get started, visit: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/takingcontrol.html . Melissa also teaches a simple, yet profound, daily process for deliberately creating your life in her book, “My cat made me a millionaire… (and how yours can too!),” available here: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/cat.html . E-mail: Quiter@Texas.net or call: [512] 341-0556.

Thursday

Sleep On It!
by: Michael A. Verdicchio

What do you think about before you go to sleep? Does it really matter? What you think about could be very beneficial and profitable to your life. While your conscious mind takes a break as you sleep, your subconscious mind actually stays very active. Because of this, the thoughts that you think about before you drift off to sleep are vitally important.

Many people end their day by watching the news, which is usually negative and depressing. When they go to sleep after pouring all that junk into their minds, they are basically saying, "Okay subconscious mind, work on all that stuff." And people wonder why they wake up depressed, negative, and with no ambition for the new day ahead?

Your subconscious mind is at work day and night, including throughout your slumber. Have you ever heard the expression, "I'm going to sleep on it?" I remember watching a movie and when faced with a problem, the main character said, "I'll sort it out in the morning." Many times after "sleeping on it," a person wakes up with a solution, or at least, a direction in which to proceed.

One day, a man had diligently worked for hours towards a solution to a problem, yet still knew that there was something missing. He went to sleep, still trying to grasp that missing piece. His thoughts before he fell asleep were focused on unearthing the solution. He said the next morning he suddenly woke up feeling "the greatest excitement." In a short amount of time thereafter, Albert Einstein wrote his first draft of a new article - a full thirty pages. It was the start to his theory of relativity.

There are a lot of people who wake up right before their alarm goes off. Does that happen to you? Is it just a habit, or, before falling asleep, do you consciously think about what time you want to get up? I think it is the latter.

Personally, the only time I use an alarm clock is when I need to get up much earlier than usual. However, every time, it seems like I still wake up before the alarm goes off. Before falling asleep, I was very aware that I needed to get up early…and the next morning, my subconscious mind stepped in, telling me it was 4:30.

Why not tell your subconscious mind some really positive things before you nod off to sleep? Things like, "I am going to wake up happy and refreshed," or "I am going to get some good, peaceful sleep and tomorrow I will get a lot done," are some excellent examples.

There are many programs that suggest doing your affirmations right before you go to sleep. Some recommend reviewing your goals at that time. The Bible talks about not going to sleep angry. Why? Because the Creator designed the brain and He knows that it's not beneficial to you.

Here's something to try. Take note of what kind of mood you are in as you go to sleep. Emotions are a product of your thoughts. Change your thinking so that you don't allow yourself to fall asleep in a doubtful mood, or in a depressed mood, or in an angry mood.

If you fall asleep in a negative mood, you are impeding the work that your subconscious mind could be doing for you while you sleep. You are losing ground and also losing precious time.

Whether it is your affirmations, or goals, or something you are working on and trying to solve, take careful note of what you are thinking about right before you fall asleep. Your subconscious mind is going to be working all night on something anyway, so why not give it something profitable?

Successful people develop successful habits - it just doesn't happen automatically. You can take charge of your life in so many little seemingly insignificant steps. However, some of these "little" things will reap enormously profitable dividends in your life.

So have a sweet, peaceful, productive sleep!

About The Author

Michael A. Verdicchio is a husband, father, minister, and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years. Michael is the author and producer of “Inspirational Pep Talks”, available at http://www.InspirationalPepTalks.com.

He has a free newsletter called, THE PEP LETTER, at http://www.christianinspirationalgifts.com/pepletter.html

Wednesday

Beat Stress Now! 10 Easy Tips
by: Colleen Kettenhofen


"Never complain about your troubles; they are responsible for more than half of your income." Robert R. Updegraff

Everyone's busy. Today many of us feel added pressure with fax machines, cell phones, kids and co-workers. The average worker fields 52 phone calls, 36 emails and 23 voice mails a day. And, the holidays and the stress that sometimes comes with it are fast approaching. Here are 10 quick and easy tips for managing stress. Please feel free to share them with your friends and colleagues.

1) Focus on your strengths not on your weaknesses. Perfectionists take note: the average American is 32 years old, married, laughs 15 times a day, and has 27 trillion fat cells. Nobody's perfect. Beat stress by going easy on yourself. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Don't obsess over your weaknesses because perfectionism often leads to procrastination.

2) Get up in the morning 30 minutes earlier.Start your day with solitude and more clarity by rising a half hour earlier than those in your household. Spend quiet time journaling, praying or meditating. Just begin by writing your thoughts, dreams, goals and fears. Start thinking about how to organize your day.

3) Break the worry habit. 95% of what you worry about never happens. Ask yourself, "Even if the worst happened, what could I learn from this experience?" Have a plan B just in case.

4) Spend time outdoors and out in nature. Especially in fall and winter when the days get shorter, it's important to spend time outdoors every day in the natural daylight. Even if it's gray and overcast, research shows that time spent in daylight, especially in the morning, helps reduce Seasonal Affect Disorder or "SAD." Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, I can actually notice a positive shift in my mood and that of others when late spring arrives and it's light until 8:45 p.m.

5) Remember the formula E + R = 0. Event + (your) Reaction = Outcome. You can't always controls the events or outside circumstances around you, but you CAN control how you react. This isn't a new concept, but sometimes we need to be reminded of it. Most of us spend more time worrying about the things outside of our control. I conducted a speaking engagement recently in Seattle on "Dealing with Difficult People." I reminded everyone of the importance that their response plays in determining their outcomes.

6) Laughter is a serious business! Laugh to reduce stress. It's a well-known fact that laughter helps reduce stress and build the immune system. Laughter IS the best medicine. It gets those endorphins or "feel-good" hormones into the brain and elevates your mood.

7) Don't overreact when dealing with difficult people - especially antagonists. Antagonists, otherwise known as "pot stirrers," often have a desire for dissention. They're looking to purposely rattle your cage, ruffle your feathers, and get you to say something you'll regret. As Zig Ziglar once said, "No one can get your goat if they don't know where it's tied up."

8) Reward yourself for a job well done. Indulge in a massage, manicure or pedicure. Recently I had the glorious pleasure of staying at the Phoenician hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. Splurging on an hour-plus massage worked wonders! Not to mention laying out by the pool enjoying the beautiful desert scenery of Camelback Mountain, and later, Sedona.

9) Check your adult at the door. Act like a kid again! Play, run, engage in a favorite sport or hobby like golf, tennis, or hanging out with your children at the park. Make sure to have a date night with your spouse or significant other. Take a day off and play at the beach doing something you haven't done in years like playing Frisbee or building sand castles.

10) Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. List 10 things you're grateful to have in your life. Revisit and appreciate the simplest of pleasures. Sip your favorite cup of gourmet coffee. Sit outside in the springtime in the garden of a friend's house. Enjoy sunset on the coast. Appreciate the feeling of being more energized after a workout. Be grateful for your health.

Decide today to make a commitment to do one activity that will reduce stress and maximize success. Do it now. What you do in the present determines your future. Enjoy!

Copyright (c) 2006 Colleen Kettenhofen


About The Author

Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert and co-author of The Masters of Success, as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield.For more free articles and e-newsletter, visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Most popular topics: leadership, management skills, public speaking, dealing with difficult people. Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars by calling (971)212-2412.

http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com

Tuesday

A New Approach to Self-Improvement
by: Tammy Pratt

Are you frustrated with your business growth? Maybe you are focusing too much energy on improving on your weaknesses and not enough on your strengths. You made a list of your of your strengths and weaknesses. So naturally you focus on the weaknesses because you already have a good foundation from your strengths. You buy books, read articles, make a list of daily actions steps to improve those weaker areas in your business/personal growth. You set a goal and begin your journey down the road of improving on the weak areas of your life. What happens next? You find that improvement is slow or even futile. You don’t enjoy the time you spend working on your weakest links and you quit! Now you are discouraged and less likely to try again.

Let’s try another approach. What do you think would happen if you spent your time and energy focusing on your strengths? Yes, make your strengths even better. Let’s face it, your strengths are not perfect and there is always room for improvement. If you are good in the area of customer service, spend some time evaluating why that particular area is one of your strengths. Look for ways to improve and take action! You will be more motivated to stick with your plan of action and you will enjoy working your plan much more than when you focused on weaknesses. As you take daily action, you will see progress much sooner. Working on your strengths will help you develop healthy new habits, drop some old bad habits, and give you a positive new attitude.

What will be the outcome of this new approach to self improvement? You will be operating within your strengths. You will be happier with what you do, be more motivated to keep moving up and more enthusiastic about what you do. Improving on your strengths is a much more productive activity and it will make you better at what you do much quicker. Who knows you just might become the top income earner in your organization, get that promotion, or have a more successful business of your own.

About The Author

Tammy Pratt has been a stay-at-home mom since 1999 and started her first home based business in 2005. Learn more about her business at www.mynewjobathome.com.